Mastering The Addiction

If you are subscribed to #TheKeikenLetters you understand what Addiction looks like when it’s played out.

It’s easy to call out Addiction to sex, drugs, porn.
But the addiction that often gets missed is the one to patterns, situations, people.

A đŸ§”
Some people circle round the same kinds of patterns, relationships, behavior in partners because of this addiction.

It is not that they don’t want stability. Deep down they do but they are afraid of being in one because that person will not go and come, go and come like you know
For some people this going and coming. I like to call it the ‘magician act’ loool helps satisfy their need for variety (change, uncertainty, adventure)

In the sense that they don’t know when the person is going to leave, when they’ll resurface, how they’ll resurface.
If they’ll resurface at all. This particular thing has them slightly excited.
They’ve become addicted to the idea that instability births a certain kind of adventure, thrill.

They cannot admit that they are genuinely afraid of stability. They say they want it but it’s scary to
Admit that stability will eventually mean boredom.
They cannot admit that being with someone who isn’t appearing and disappearing is terrifying.

Someone who is sure, stable, present.
Because then how do they satisfy the emotional need for variety?
What they do not understand about stability is:

“The secret of love is seeking variety in your life together and never keeping routine chords dull the melody of your romance”
- Unknown.
Never letting*

The thing about trying to fulfill emotional needs is that it can be negative or positive.
In this case of addiction it becomes negative.

Your emotional needs come in pairs most times;

Variety goes with Certainty or Security.
One shouldn’t be more outdone than the other because balance.
When you tip the balance, problem.

Some people are addicted to partners that are broken. Partners they consistently need to fix, do heavy lifting emotionally, bend, break.

Why?
Attention, significance
They need to feel needed. Center of attention in the persons life, without them this person wouldn’t be sensible.

So they stay and they fix & fix & fix because that’s how they fulfill their own emotional need.

When that project is done it feels like they are no longer needed.
So they pick on every little thing the person does.
Cause unnecessary fights and chaos so they can fix it.

You break up, move on and find another partner that needs fixing so you can feel needed, important, significant.

A lot of times the way your emotional needs play out are..
Birthed from trauma you’ve gone through.

In this course I teach u to identify these emotional needs, how to communicate them & how to channel them into positive things, practical steps on detachment.

Subscribers get it at a discounted rate. I’m taking on only 10 people.
You can follow @SelemaEnang.
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