I WILL SUM UP MY LAST THREE RELATIONSHIPS: I have had 3 miscarriages with three different men, because I wanted love and I truly did love these men I wanted to spend forever with them.
I was always genuine and my feelings were 100% real for each and everyone one of these. The first one was my high school sweetheart who blessed me with my first born, he was very abusive towards me and insecure... he would beat me everyday and call me names.
Even after birthing his daughter he was still very unfair with me. Shortly after I got pregnant again and he wanted me to abort it bc he said it wasn’t his child even tho we lived together, the stress was so real that I ended up having my very first miscarriage..
I left him when my daughter was 8 months old, It was too much to bare. I stayed single up until my daughter turned 3 I moved to a completely different city and her dad ended up getting deported.
About a year and half into the move I met this guy and at the mall and we exchanged numbers and hung up, it was an instant connections. We would hang out everyday he was the first guy to meet my daughter she loved him he loved her it was the perfect love story...
We did everything together and on Valentine’s Day he got me pregnant and we were expecting and we were super excited bc he was a good guy he was headed off to the military but when things became real and we told our families the exciting news something didn’t feel right.
I think I was still stuck on my baby daddy I was so stressed and concerned that he would never want me back if he found out I was pregnant. It was just too much and then I found out that he was cheating on me and I began to stress myself out even more that I miscarried again.
Being my second miscarriage I could say it hurt more than the first one for some reason and I’m not too sure why idk if it was because I was older and understood more or what but I had to call a quits because I couldn’t stand looking at him if our child wasn’t here.
I ended up seeking therapy after that and losing my job bc I was performing right anymore, I lost a lot of weight bc I fell into depression from the miscarriage. I just stayed to myself why he was already in a new relationship with someone else enjoy life like nothing.
I stayed single for another year or so, we are on the third guy it was my 21st bday celebration and I just wanted to have some fun I wasn’t looking for an relationship or a guy but this one was so unexpected and the most painfullest one.
To sum this one up we started talking January 13th up until May 30th and you know what? in these 4 months I fell so hard in love I fell the most in love with this one than anyone else. In these months I got my nose broken, I got beat, I got manipulated, I got cheated on, & played
He made a fool outta me, he did the absolute worst you could think of a woman. Something about this guy though was he reminded me so much of my daughters dad, when I looked into this guys eyes I felt as if I knew him forever I wanted him to fix this broken family of mine
In my mind I painted this picture and pretended he was my bd even tho my real bd was deported with zero contact. I believe he was my bd bc I wanted a perfect family, he ended up getting me pregnant and to this day I want to believe it was my fault that we broke up
His actions said otherwise though. He didn’t care about me he was a bouncer I was just another fuck buddy to spend some time with while I was falling madly in love with him making myself believe he was someone he wasn’t.
I found out he was cheated on me while I would go to work I found out he cheated on me with multiple woman actually I found out he was actually planning to get back with his first baby momma, he wanted to keep me a secret and have me abort while I wanted to show him off.
On May 29th, 2019 while carrying his child in me I walked in on him having sex with another girl, I wanted to forgive him even after what I just saw bc I was so desperate for a family I was willing to put that all behind us but that night he kicked me out and denied his child
He called me delusional even after he knew that child was his and beat me up in front of that random girl. You guys wouldn’t be able to understand the pain I felt walking out of that house that day to this day it still makes me sick to my stomach... I ended up losing the baby <\\3
Things happen for a reason and I believe god works in mysterious way and I believe the reason all that in my past happen were life lessons to teach me something or to guide me to a certain path. It has been 11 hard months since that has happened and I still am very hurt about it
I know I said I was only going to talk about 3 guys but I just so happen to meet the guy of my dreams. I have met the most amazing angel sent from above someone who respects me and loves me for who I am ♥️ I have met my king and I’m his queen. Be patient, don’t give up on love.
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