Real talk-

My streak of positivity broke today.
I have been trying so hard to cast my anxiety and uncertainty upon Him and today I snapped. I broke down and cried for a solid 30 minutes, kicked the crap out of a 5 gallon bucket, and screamed. (1)

I threw a good old fashioned temper tantrum. Straight up was embarrassed that my cattle had to see it.

I was pissed of at the situation I was in, and was wondering why this year- OF ALL YEARS??? (2)

I drove into town shortly after- logged onto Zoom with state officer from around the US to learn how to host virtual workshops; and then logged into another zoom right after with a handful of my teammates. (3)

I was sitting there, with some of the most amazing individuals on Earth; wanting so bad to embrace them and sing at the top of my lung with them and have everything back to normal. (4)

Today would have been convention. we would have ran on stage, done opening ceremonies, recognized members for all there hard work, and cried in front of 9,000 ffa members and guests. (5)

Instead, I sat on the floor of my room- and said opening ceremonies with my teammates. I blubbered through the secretary part. And broke down when I said “I am pleased to announce that at this, the 92nd Missouri FFA Convention, there are [17] members present, Mr. President” (6)

it didn’t matter that just my team was there, I still felt exhilaration saying that part. It was special, and raw, and AUTHENTIC. (7)

The purpose of this thread is: Everyone is missing out on something. Plans have been canceled and changed and everything in between. This is a time to be authentic. I am struggling, and i’m not going to pretend like I am ok with it all. (8)

BUT- we’ve got to stop giving so much power to a virus.

COVID-19 has done a lot- but don’t let it make you bitter. Be real and authentic and KIND. Everyone is feeling this in different ways. Be Kind. And find joy in the small things. (9)