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Y’all wanna hear a story about how a neighbor in my apartment complex called the police on me for sitting in my car tonight?
So check it: I got hungry, so I walked to the store while FT my homie. I get to the store and here’s my order: 2 Rice Krispie treats(small thangs cus I’m watching my calories), sunflower seeds, and 3 double packs of filter capones.
I leave the store and start walking back to my apt. Upon arrival at my complex, I hop into my car to enjoy a friendly FT and smoke my Capone. I turn the car on because I like AC...
Then.... Karen arrives.
Karen pulls up behind, unbeknownst to me, and then honks her horn. As I look over my shoulder to ascertain her melanin levels, it’s rather lacking; thus, I ignore.
Now, Karen has been challenged by her inner BBQ Betty spirits saying, “Ask him an assuming, loaded question?” She honks the horn again and I proceed to look at her as if I were a Black parent who heard they child answer, “What?”.
As I roll my window down, she ask “Are you moving?” I kindly reply, “Hell no.” Sensing the bass in my voice and the real n**ga in my heart, she must follow up for additional questioning.
She then asks, “Why? Because you’re in your car smoking a blunt?” 
I retort, “What’s it to you? I’m not moving.” What follows this reply is all too familiar.
I retort, “What’s it to you? I’m not moving.” What follows this reply is all too familiar.
She then asks, “Well, do you live here? Because you’re not allowed to be parked here without a permit if you don’t.” At that point, I laugh, blow smoke at her, and say, “Karen, you should get going now. It’s going to be hard to find parking at this time of night.”
And BOOM, Karen replies with her signature move, “How about I call the police and let them sort it out?” I reply with extreme arrogance and condescension, “Cool, by the time you find parking, they should be here.”
Police arrive well before she makes it out the parking lot. Not surprising. The police approach me and ask to search my car and show my parking decal. I comply.... but on one condition:
I say to the officer, “If I comply without any trouble, I need you to lecture Karen and let me stand and watch.” Of course, I’m the longest tenant at the complex and the prideful owner of a parking decal AND I wasn’t smoking the “Devil’s Lettuce”, a Karen-ism.
So Karen received a lecture from FOUR cops and I watched in delight while on FT with my friend and smoking my 3rd Capone.
Let this be a lesson to the Karen’s of the world: the sooner you start looking for parking the sooner you find parking. End story!
