I’m gonna say it: we need to normalize breastfeeding problems and not immediately jump to “you can always just give them formula”. It’s disrespectful to both formula and breastmilk moms. Hear me out.

The decision to feed a child with breastmilk or formula is often a very weighted one. Some moms can’t afford formula. Some moms can’t breastfeed. While moms should be fully educated on both before they decide, saying it’s “just” breastmilk or formula is dismissive.

Breastmilk is superior. That’s factual. And if we have a willing mom who is trying, we need to do what we can to support a healthy and successful experience for them. Not all moms dealing with breastfeeding complications need to stop breastfeeding- sometimes they need support.

If a breastfeeding mom comes to you with a problem, ask open ended questions and figure out how THEY feel about it. Are they just venting, or is there a real problem at hand they need help with? What can you do to help? Remind them that you love and support them.

If you feel like your friend is seeking advice and you have very limited or negative breastfeeding experiences or attitudes, refer them to an IBCLC or your state’s breastfeeding network. Offer to find the phone number or contact info for them. Be a supportive friend and help.

“This sounds like a pushy breastfeeding agenda. I don’t want to pressure my friend to breastfeed if they’re struggling.”

Giving support to a struggling breastfeeding mom is NOT pushing an agenda. This is where breastfeeding and formula cross paths perfectly. Here’s why:

If you had a formula feeding friend and their child was struggling with their formula or bottle, would you say “you tried your best, you can just stop feeding your baby.” Absolutely not! You would say “have you tried soy? this bottle brand? This formula brand? What about this?”

You would help them troubleshoot. You’d get them sample cans of different formula or refer them to a pediatrician or allergy specialist. You’d help them get one of every single brand of bottle until you found the right one. You’d help them find a solution.

So why is it when breastfeeding moms have their hiccups, we say “you can just stop” and assume that is what they want or what’s best? A lack of support is a huge factor in compromised breastfeeding relationships. We need to do better. We can be supportive and not pressuring.

Some moms can’t breastfeed. Some don’t want to. Some absolutely want to and then stop because of support issues. Some moms adopt older kids and feed them table food. We can support moms no matter how they feed without pressure or guilt.

Anyway that’s my hot take for tonight on breastfeeding. Tune in next week for pervert weirdos and public breastfeeding shamers.

All of this is coming from a broke bitch who couldn’t afford formula, had a tough start, and is still going strong 8 months in. And I still get told I can or should just stop. But I ain’t gonna