Today was the longest I've been outside of my apartment in over 2 months. I also saw & interacted with over a dozen people, which - while I had PPE - really just fried my nerves.

My tremors are in full force, my brain is mush, I just feel so spent. Need to relax tonight somehow.

I've seen billboards, t-shirts, heard radio DJs call us in healthcare heroes. Every time I hear that word I feel a little more crushed.

I didn't take this job to be a "hero" on the "frontline." I wanted folks to have homes. I try not to dwell, but it's hard when it's repeated.

I'm really trying to minimize how much I complain. There's folks who have it harder, & I know people don't like it when I do talk about this stuff. I just don't have many outlets.

And Twitter just is this hot mess right now that I feel almost unattached from with all the drama.

I wish we all weren't hurting & on edge. I feel how tense everyone is. And I don't have many ways to help with that.

This thread is nearly pointless. Sorry for ramble. Maybe I'll just make an alt so I don't annoy people on main with my depression idk.

I'm just so very spent.