Sure!

How big is your character’s concept of the world? Is it self-centered? Do they have a clear self-identity—but no concept of the world besides their direct experience?

Or do they have a clear concept of the world—but no sense of who they are on their own?

#writetip https://twitter.com/Natkim17052342/status/1250858027890032640

Not always one or the other. A character might be a little of both. For example!

Think of it if the two main characters are in a romance. They get into a huge fight. How much of your character’s side of that is ego-centered? Are they mad and that’s all they see?

If you go deeper, you have to explore not just how the character sees themselves. Now go into whether they see other people as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.

Maybe you spend some time with how flipping mad your main character is. But then they think about the other person’s side of the argument. The other person’s feelings and limits, the things that make their side of the conflict just as valid as your main character’s side.

Your main character can’t just change their own needs, nor can the other character. That’s the basis for their romantic conflict. An authentic expression of self on both sides that makes them incompatible. At least until they complete their character arcs.

What a lot of new authors do is keep the characters so egocentric that the romantic conflict feels hollow. The reader can't shake the suspicion that if the two were capable of having an honest conversation, everything would be fine.

Which is not to say there aren't great conflicts based entirely on one or more character's complete inability to tell the truth. But often the key is to go deeper and see how big an explosion you get if the characters start off having an honest conversation.

I want to stop and sit with this for a moment. For me, it can be tempting to base the conflict on secrets and deceptions, but if you haven't yet let your characters have an argument about how they REALLY feel, you might be missing the most compelling part of your story.

It’s okay if your characters aren’t very good at perceiving these sorts of things about each other. What I would suggest for a romance writer in this predicament is to see what happens if the characters spell it out for each other. Lay all the cards on the table.

Often that leads to the biggest fight of the book, and the author realizes the conflict at that point is so strong that it will take an entire book to resolve.

Hello new beginning of the book, it’s nice to meet you.

Personally, I like characters who are insightful and articulate. A strong sense of self and a strong theory of mind. But you can mix and match, eg one's good at self-expression but awful at reading others. The other's great at reading others but has no independent sense of self.

I hope that helps explain this concept. Thank you for your question, Kim! Happy to discuss further if you have any more thoughts.