If we are continuing to sell alcohol amid a global pandemic, a national catastrophe, and an economic depression, can we please dispense with the charade of checking adults' IDs for alcohol purchases?

I mean, I have a mask on. You can't even see me! But, you know what? You're right. At Target at 8 pm on Thursday, with my thinning salt and pepper hair, scraggly beard, and dad bod, I could be twelve.

Maybe it's time we re-think the whole carding process?

Better yet, let's rethink the whole drinking age. If you are old enough to fake an ID and put one over on an adult checking to make sure you don't sneak some beers, guess what!? In my mind, you've earned that case of Coors Light.

You know what kids who can't get beer do? They wait outside of stores and ask someone to go in for them. Or they raid an adult's liquor cabinet. They go to their drinky, weirdo friend's house. And probably have some of the best nights of their life.

But yes, let's keep Boone's Hill out of the hands of 18 year olds. Because this is America, where no one drinks later in life.

We must wait until we're 21 to drink legally. Know what is okay for teens? Handing them a gun or the keys to a one-ton piece of flying metal.

I'm beginning to think checking for IDs is like worry about voter fraud. Does the fraud exist in any meaningful way?

For a lot of students, college literally is a way to circumvent drinking laws. Hey, I'll spend $30,000 a semester to live at a place that doesn't care if I get shit-faced every night! When I was at Trinity, literally the first question I heard asked was about the alcohol policy.

In a country that deems liquor stores & carry-out Margarita shops essential businesses, I think we can use common sense when it comes to enforcing ID checks.

I will say this: thank go our president is a man of god who doesn't drink. Cuz if he did, crazy shit might happen.

In the meantime, let's enjoy a few extra minutes of an essential worker being in our six feet of space so they can type in your birthday four times before the "self-checkout" computer accepts it.

End rant.