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When people say they don't want children, we usually look at them weirdly like they're crazy people but really, these are decisions we need to put a lot of thought into and be more intentional about. It's not something to do just because it's the norm cos there's a lot at stake.
Are you really ready for the responsibility that comes with being a parent? Are you ready to sacrifice dreams & ambitions for them wholeheartedly? Are you ready to love them unconditionally & not for your selfish gain or cos you want someone to take care of you when you're old?
If you remove societal pressure & the continuity of your lineage, do you have other strong reasons for wanting kids? Bringing another human into this world is such a HUGE responsibility that I think deserves more of our attention than it's getting. We're so passive about it
Two people get married and we automatically expect children as if children are supposed to be the by-products of every marriage. Contrary to popular belief, that's false. I know we have a primal urge to reproduce but we can tame that urge same way we tame sexual urges for example
A lot of the horrible things people go through today were caused by their parents. Low self esteem, anxiety, depression & many mental health issues have been caused by parents who kept belittling, insulting, abusing and pressuring their kids in many ways. A friend once said her..
...dad once told her to bring a pot from the kitchen and then compared it with her stomach. Heard of another person who was so fat his dad used to call him dustbin. I mean WTF? How do you say that to your child that you are supposed to love? Let's not even go into beating again
But the way a lot of people treat their kids just shows they didn't give it any thought, it was just vibes. We hear of some polygamous men who have some many children they can't even remember all their names. Cos they see children as property and commodities not as human beings.
And let's not talk about those who choose to have more children than they can cater for because "Na God dey give pikin". Since na God dey give pikin but why you no say make God give you money and time for the pikin instead of practicing childbirth and insha Allah.
Nobody will start a new business without first thinking about the decision carefully, analysing the costs, risks etc because we know a lot(of money) is at stake. How much more bringing a whole person into this world. You shouldn't do it till you're very certain you're capable
We pay more attention to things that involve money than things that involve children. And that's why we can excuse hustling for money as a reason for being absent in your child's life. But guess what? Children need love, attention, support & the best environment to thrive.
If you're going to be too busy or incapable of doing ALL of these, you should reconsider your decision tbh. I daresay that bringing children into this world without giving them all of these is child abuse because they'll be the ones who have to live with the consequences
There are too many people in this world who have been damaged permanently by the inadequacies of their parents for us to keep giving birth to more people without carefully thinking it through. I think it's the least we can do for them.
Thanks for coming to my crack talk.
Thanks for coming to my crack talk.
