Read on Twitter
2020 Democratic candidates ranked by the horniness of their base, in ascending order. Candidates are excluded if they never made a debate or if I've never met a supporter of theirs.
I spent way more time on this than I am willing to admit
I spent way more time on this than I am willing to admit
#16: Cory Booker
Booker looks like an absolute goober and his girlfriend is way out of his league. He may have had more of a parasocial relationship with his base if he had more supporters, but alas, he dropped out too soon to know for sure
Booker looks like an absolute goober and his girlfriend is way out of his league. He may have had more of a parasocial relationship with his base if he had more supporters, but alas, he dropped out too soon to know for sure
#15: Michael Bennet
Another also-ran who didn't really ever have enough support to get people to sexualize him
Another also-ran who didn't really ever have enough support to get people to sexualize him
#14: Andrew Yang
I feel like a lot of Yang's support wanted him as a platonic sugar daddy (he's smart and he'll take care of you, and even give you an allowance). However, the majority of his supporters were straight men, so there wasn't as much horniness as other candidates
I feel like a lot of Yang's support wanted him as a platonic sugar daddy (he's smart and he'll take care of you, and even give you an allowance). However, the majority of his supporters were straight men, so there wasn't as much horniness as other candidates
As a sidenote, the unfortunate reality is that Yang being an Asian man definitely cuts down on this. If not for racism, Yang would be top-tier as a young, attractive man with a dedicated base of support, perfect conditions for extreme sexualization
#13: Tom Steyer
Steyer is an interesting case. He comes off as a hapless dweeb but was objectively one of the 2 or 3 most powerful people in the race. There were people who got off on the idea of domming a much more powerful person than themselves
Steyer is an interesting case. He comes off as a hapless dweeb but was objectively one of the 2 or 3 most powerful people in the race. There were people who got off on the idea of domming a much more powerful person than themselves
#12: Bernie Sanders
Sanders had a lot of tongue-in-cheek horniness, but the joke is that he seems like a mostly sexless old man. Most real Bernie attraction was directed at his younger self, who is exactly the type that a lot of younger people have
Sanders had a lot of tongue-in-cheek horniness, but the joke is that he seems like a mostly sexless old man. Most real Bernie attraction was directed at his younger self, who is exactly the type that a lot of younger people have
#11: Michael Bloomberg
On the surface, not very horny. However, I suspect Bloomberg supporters have a humiliation kink, with people endorsing him after he literally donated to their opponents
On the surface, not very horny. However, I suspect Bloomberg supporters have a humiliation kink, with people endorsing him after he literally donated to their opponents
They feel emasculated by their perceived inability to beat Trump, and so they want someone more able to "perform". Basically, they're cucks who want to watch Bloomberg fuck their party
#10: Joe Biden
Like Bernie, most of this is directed at his younger self. However, there is definitely an element of sexualization of even his older self. See the notorious ice cream photo
Like Bernie, most of this is directed at his younger self. However, there is definitely an element of sexualization of even his older self. See the notorious ice cream photo
#9: John Delaney
There are three things you need to know about Delaney: He ran for president for almost 3 years, he's the opposite of cool, and he's swole as fuck. I knew one serious Delaney supporter and god did she want to fuck him
There are three things you need to know about Delaney: He ran for president for almost 3 years, he's the opposite of cool, and he's swole as fuck. I knew one serious Delaney supporter and god did she want to fuck him
#8: Marianne Williamson
Williamson didn't have the cult around her that other people did, but the Williamson-curious members of other camps definitely had a weird sexual thing for her
Williamson didn't have the cult around her that other people did, but the Williamson-curious members of other camps definitely had a weird sexual thing for her
#7: Jay Inslee
The combination of the glasses and the age produced distinct elements of horniness in his base, though he didn't have enough support for it coagulate like the higher candidates
The combination of the glasses and the age produced distinct elements of horniness in his base, though he didn't have enough support for it coagulate like the higher candidates
#6: Kamala Harris
Kamala was one of the more attractive candidates, and her base's horniness comes from her position of power. They want her to dom them, but not as aggressively as, say, Klobuchar's simps
Kamala was one of the more attractive candidates, and her base's horniness comes from her position of power. They want her to dom them, but not as aggressively as, say, Klobuchar's simps
#5: Elizabeth Warren
I'm going to be honest: a lot of Warren supporters talked about her in a borderline oedipal way. Like Kamala, she definitely had a base of serious support, but the number of people explicitly comparing her to a mom who would take care of them unnerved me
I'm going to be honest: a lot of Warren supporters talked about her in a borderline oedipal way. Like Kamala, she definitely had a base of serious support, but the number of people explicitly comparing her to a mom who would take care of them unnerved me
#4: Amy Klobuchar
Klobuchar's claim to fame was that she abused her staffers, and I feel like most of her supporters were jealous of the staffers. Amy-horniness is much more aggressive than Warren horniness, and more masochistic than Kamala horniness
Klobuchar's claim to fame was that she abused her staffers, and I feel like most of her supporters were jealous of the staffers. Amy-horniness is much more aggressive than Warren horniness, and more masochistic than Kamala horniness
#3: Pete Buttigieg
You could write a phd dissertation about the number of middle-aged wine moms who wanted to fuck Pete. They like that he's young, they like that he's smart, they like that he's gay (???)
You could write a phd dissertation about the number of middle-aged wine moms who wanted to fuck Pete. They like that he's young, they like that he's smart, they like that he's gay (???)
Some of them I think have disappointing marriages and they've imagined Pete as everything their husband isn't. The fact that he's younger (and presumably less experienced) than they are only makes them hornier
#2: Beto O'Rourke
Maybe the only candidate in American history who's main selling point was that his followers wanted to fuck him. This was explicit from the beginning.
Beto horniness shares a demographic with Pete horniness, but Beto's simps liked that he was older
Maybe the only candidate in American history who's main selling point was that his followers wanted to fuck him. This was explicit from the beginning.
Beto horniness shares a demographic with Pete horniness, but Beto's simps liked that he was older
#1: Tulsi Gabbard
The archetypal horny person's candidate. Unlike the others, there was basically nobody who supported her who wasn't horny for her. She was the candidate of white male orientalists who want a president they can fuck
The archetypal horny person's candidate. Unlike the others, there was basically nobody who supported her who wasn't horny for her. She was the candidate of white male orientalists who want a president they can fuck
Honorable Mention: Andrew Cuomo
People have been talking about Cuomo running for years, and good god do people want to fuck him. I don't get it, I don't like it, and I pray every night that he won't be president
People have been talking about Cuomo running for years, and good god do people want to fuck him. I don't get it, I don't like it, and I pray every night that he won't be president
