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something i struggle with quite a lot as an Ex-RQ are absolutes, and the Genderist Idea of 'Your Interests Reflect You As A Person So If You Like Bad Stuff, You're Bad Too.'
my whole life i've always been a black-and-white thinker, everywhere. arguments w my dad were few and far between compared to the Daily Screaming Matches i have with my mother; but when they did happen, it was usually because i was being 'all or nothing' about something.
i've relaxed w age and therapy. but in many areas ( far, far more than i'd like ) i'm still an All-Or-Nothing Extremist. it makes me feel safe, but i can't deny how much i've hurt myself and others with my distrust of grey areas and my knee-jerk tendency to Polarise everything.
Rainbowland also considers ppls interests Inseperable from your Actual Character ie Who You Are. and like clearly that’s not Wrong-wrong - ppl DO like stuff that makes them see themselves, or that they relate to, or the connections they make w others from it.
but no matter how much they say ‘liking problematic stuff doesn’t make U problematic hee hee’ or whateva, Rainbowqueers still side-eye or attack u for liking stuff that has One Bad Thing about it or someone who did One Bad Thing ages ago.
but in Rainbowland, polarising is a GOOD thing. it intensifies its Cultness. Good People are Saints, and Bad People are immediately VILLAINS. they can never move past their BADNESS and need to be Publicly Reviled so everyone KNOWS and if u talk to them ur BAD too.
worse still, in Rainbowland, ur goodness is extremely fragile because ur only as good as other Rainbowqueers think u r. the second whispers start going round, no matter how few, you're on borrowed time.
i got popular among the Rainbowland 'Lesbians' fast. even though i always felt like i was on borrowed time and Rainbow Behaviours Beliefs made me sicker and sicker, i never wanted to leave. because i was a black-and-white thinker surrounded by other black-and-white thinkers.
so i stayed. i stayed, behaving the same the Rainbowqueers did, letting it make me sicker and sicker, until i made one Wrong Move and they chased me out.
