how to tell if it's zayn or not - a thread

if they're dancing it's not zayn

it they don't have a cigarette in either their hand or behind their ear or between their lips, it's not zayn. check the pockets too though. just in case.

if they're driving it's not zayn.

if they're in public it's not zayn

if they have a lizard on them or a cat that is inside out then it is zayn

if they are bald it is zayn

if they sound like an angel then it is zayn

if they're donating to the homeless then it is zayn

if they say "ill put you the fuck straight" it is zayn

if they love minions it is zayn

if they're drawing something it is zayn

if they're stylish they're zayn

if they prefer rice over roti they're not zayn

if they're on twitter they're not zayn

if they have internet connection they're not zayn

if they're the cutest mamu ever they're zayn

if they're praying they're not zayn

if they're in the tour bus they're not zayn

if they're chilling on a farm they're zayn

if their mobile screen is broken they're zayn

if they still own and use a Nokia they're zayn

if they say "ask me if i give a motherfuck" they're zayn