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Oh. I must have imagined the floor falling out of my Morris Traveller then. Must've been all the drugs.
I was driving my old Mini Clubman through the village once and, as I passed the shop, the carpet in the foot well went all floppy and I could see all bits of rusty floorpan scattering across the road in my rear view mirror.
That was the Mini where I had to wind the window down to grab hold of the outside door handle to lift-and-slam to shut it before I could drive away.
I drove it through a ford once, expecting the water to come through the floor, but it came through the dash around the instrument binnacle.
Another Mini 850 I had always had a lot of dust on the back seat. One day I lifted the seat cushion and was looking at mud, the subframe and the road. That car had the boot floor 'supplemented' by a flattened-out Castrol can.
The Morris Traveller I had didn't have any floor behind the front seats. The springs were floating on air and it gave a very soft ride. It also had an active rat's nest under the boot floor.
The rustiest car I owned was my Wolseley 1300. By the time I gave up on it, the front wing was mostly polyfilla and the floor was mostly filing cabinet.
The Morris Oxford series 3 I owned was very special. It had been properly bodged in the 70s and actually had Daily Mirrors stuffed into the sills. It was proper Arthur Daley.
But the Morris Ital I owned should get a mention because nobody was ever quite sure what the wings were made of. I have a feeling they were just very, very, very, very deep layers of paint.
Anyway, I then moved to cars that weren't totally rusty. My MG Midget wasn't rusty, it just leaked. I used to drive it with my legs inside a dry-cleaning bag so my legs didn't get wet.
My first MGB was dry, just so long as you kept moving. Anything under 40 and water would get in everywhere. Roof up or down, just stay over 40. It once got me from north Manchester to south of Reading in 2hrs 45mins. Didn't stop. Couldn't stop actually.
I have had 38 cars (I used to get bored very easily). I now have a Brompton but have decided that, after lockdown, I'm getting another MGB. I could get coronavirus and DIE so this summer I'm getting a roadster again.
