I’m a r*pe survivor and an ab*se survivor. I don’t think all spaces must adapt to me and my needs. Do I think every queer little cafe should be cruisey as fuck? No. Should explicitly desexualized spaces exist? Yes. Are sexually charged spaces also sometimes sites of harm? Yes.

Bemoaning Sexual conservativism DOES NOT mean a critique of a collective cultural push to learn better boundaries and to push consent culture. Sexual conservativism points to a trend decrying any Public facing acknowledgement of sexuality, especially deviant sexuality within

our various and sundry queer communities. Trying to contain and master sex and wrestle it into the dark corners or back rooms of clubs serves only to further stigmatize sex and sexuality. Does that mean post girldick on main or you’re a coward? No. You can have boundaries even

And especially within sexually explicit spaces. In fact that’s where we need them most. We need consent culture in those spaces but it shouldn’t come at the expense of losing those spaces. If we know our gay history we know that actually homosexuality and deviant sexuality were

Both racialized. See Siobhan Somerville, Nayan Shah, and others. Pushing sex further out of communities isn’t going to serve us well when outsiders to the queer community use that to denigrate and further marginalize the already marginalized within our communities.

Trying to take the sex out of communities built around shared sexual identities is absolutely ridiculous to me. And it won’t save survivors. It won’t save HIV+ people. It won’t save sex workers. It won’t save folks w disabilities. It won’t save trans ppl (esp trans women).