Thread

What I lacked was self-awareness

Apparently if I don’t come out of this without a new skill, and improvements to my knowledge, my business and my health, it’s not because I lack time, but because I lack discipline. So say various experts in these things.

The other thing I need apparently (but won’t have on account of my lack of self-discipline) is a “side hustle”. I have put that in inverted commas because I don’t really know what it is, which probably gives away my age.

Actually, if people come out of this with reasonable physical and mental health, and their relationships intact, I will be the first to commend them.

Let’s start with a new skill. We’ve all had to learn how to cope with this situation. Our success in coping has been variable – at least mine has, from day to day – but so far we appear to be succeeding.

Our contingent skill has been to adapt, and to keep many more people alive than would otherwise have been the case. We’re particularly indebted to our friends in health and care – and carers include both the paid and the unpaid. But everyone is playing their part.

Improved knowledge. Well, I now know that people can, by and large, be trusted to accept quite significant restrictions, and to do so with good grace. I didn’t have that knowledge before.

Improvements to my business – well, I have just been immensely grateful to be able to work each day. I’ve been mindful of people who couldn’t, even though they wanted to, and people who weren’t able, for a whole host of reasons.

Improvements to my health – I have been rather more under the eagle eye of my wife and my older daughter so I can say that there have been improvements to my diet at least, and more regular injunctions about exercise. However, any improvement is down to them, not me.

Things I’m not having to do – look after children who are off school, care for unwell or frail people, put my life at risk, worry about paying bills, worry about my business surviving, worry about taking decisions that affect the lives and livelihood of others. And so on.

So before I suggest that anyone lacks discipline, I will try to stop and think about what they are doing already, and what they are facing. I might be able to work out what some of these things are, but I won’t know them all.

Instead give yourself credit for what you are achieving, in strange and unsettling circumstances. By all means, take time to do something else or something different, to make an improvement to something, if that would work for you.

But one skill I’m not planning to develop is making people feel guilty for not doing something. I’m sure that the people who posted these things meant well and did so out of good intentions, but sometimes it takes more than that.

Because, when everyone is already under pressure, it’s probably best to notice that, and not to add to it. I think that many people can already look back on what they have managed to do so far with some degree of pride.

And it should be possible to look forward with confidence, having managed to get this far, to the possibilities that lie ahead even if they haven’t quite crystallised yet.