So. Last night I had a dream that was about the economy.

Or, so I would argue.

/1

/2. I dreamed the world reopened, and I went to a local Starbucks and got a big coffee and sat in one of those big fake-leather chairs they have.

And had an accident.

Well, let’s not sugar-coat it. I dreamed I took a huge dump on the big Starbucks chair.

/3 it was not clear whether I was wearing pants in this dream and frankly I see that as a diversion.

Anyway, this was distressing and embarrassing and I was worried that it would become some sort of tiresome Thing, and wondering how to escape.

Then I saw the sign.

/4 it was a small, discreetly placed sign, with soothing but professional graphics and a credible font, in, perhaps somewhat regrettably, shades of brown.

I don’t remember all of the language but the upshot was “so you’ve soiled one of our chairs.”

/5 The sign took pains, backed by rhetoric and graphic design, to assure me that these things happen, that Starbucks understands, that anyone can have a suboptimal day, and that Starbucks still cherishes my business, and so forth.

/6 the sign urged me to contact “the responsible customer management professional” for assistance. It also had an email for comments and a Twitter account, which I believe was @chairissuestarbucks.
The tone of the sign suggested I could probably wheedle a gift card out of this.

/7 we have choice about how to live our lives, how to react to events even if we do not control them. I choose to see this dream as trenchant commentary on the service economy and how it can encourage us to be our worst. I do not choose to reflect on other interpretations. /end