I experienced something in 2016 that fully changed my life.

I was documenting on sexual violence refugee women and girls endure.

The stories was more than I expected. I cried, screamed, my body was so full of anger but one particular case stayed with me

I met a woman, in her late 50's. She always sat outside her tiny house in the camp. She never talked at anyone. I decided to sit with her and just be quiet as she was. I sat with her the whole day , we all watched people pass but no one talked to ther other.

The second day, I came sit with her earlier in the morning. Around noon, she stood up and made us tea. She gave me tea and began to ask me if I knew her daughter. I said No. She then started to tell me how she had a daughter and what happened to her.

One day, as the political crisis had just started, the police raided into her house. She was sleeping with her 15 year old daughter.They entered their room and one officer took the girl while the other officers two raped her.When she tried to fight them, they shoot her in the arm

She spent two days looking for the girl until one day she found her body on the street. Her 15 year old baby girl was raped; her uterus was hanging outside.

She took her kid, cleaned her up and buried her alone.

After sharing her story, she became quiet again. No tears, nothing. She narrated it as if she was reading it. I, on the other hand, I was in my tears. I cried and couldn't stop crying

She remained quiet until the sun went down and she entered her house and closed it. I also left

I returned again the 3rd day to sit with her. She was known in the neighborhood to do absolutely nothing other than quietly sit outside.

When she saw me, she said :" most people don't return to sit here with me after learning my story. I wouldn't sit with myself as well"

There as I sit, I shed all the tears. It was later that I realized sitting with her, made me mourn all the women whose stories I didn't know.

There as I sit, I quietly sat in the pain and anger, and trauma and despair and hopelessness patriarchy creates in us

A week later, I had to leave the camp and return to the US.

The last day, I sat with her half day. As I was leaving, she thanked me for sitting with her.

On my journey back, I was in pieces and there I decided to start @ChooseYourself2 .

I do this work for women and by women bc I have sat in so much pains, anger, despair and have felt hopelessness.

There are days where I just sit in the pain, the losses, hurt and abuse patriarchy put us through.

There are other days where I believe in restoration

That experience fully changed the core of my life.

I continue to do work with refugees and very often, I ask them that we just sit quietly in all the losses, the pains.

And very often, I stop and sit quietly. And It's been hard to sit with all these stories