Ain’t even gonna lie, this pandemic has thrown me so far spiraling down a depression hole. Nothing motivates me. Nothing makes me happy. I barely move most days. I know a lot of people are going through the same thing right now too and I shouldn’t be complaining, but I’m just sad

And it’s crazy because right before this got bad I thought I was in a really dark place, like I lost my job and had no income, I was barely affording my bills/groceries on that paycheck. Like I was already so fucking worried. But I was still motivated to find a new job.

I had potential prospects that halted because of the pandemic, and yes I am taking it seriously (I’ve had no motivation to leave the house). I’m literally foraging for jobs at this point. On top of that my SO got laid off and Florida has the WORST unemployment.

I’m honestly just ranting about these past two months because it’s taken so much out of me. I’ve wanted to literally stop existing almost everyday since this shit show started. I literally cannot find a reason to be happy lately.

We’re going to food banks and getting dog food donations because we’re not sure where money is going to come from next. And again, I know a ton of people are literally also dealing with this and I have no reason to complain but I just can’t hold this in any longer.

And of course there’s like instances where you can forget about this shit. (I literally binge watched the entirety of the @JeffreeStar @shanedawson docuseries like three times) and SURE that brought my love for makeup back. But I just can’t get out of my own head through all this

I guess that’s it. I just needed to bitch for a minute. I’m sure I’ll delete this thread later. I’m just in a bad place.