I am unable to believe that this is going to be my last walk as an Indian cricketer to the 22 yards that I loved and respected all my life. All these 24 years I am proud to represent my country. But yet, now I have a doubt. Do I deserve everything I got? Fame, respect and love?

Right from the beginning, people showered me love. I was fortunate because people noticed my skills & encouraged me right from when I was playing in shardashram . I always heard cheers. Cheers only increased in intensity as time passed on. Now, I am hearing the loudest cheers.

In my blurred memory from 30 years back I remember the day when Kapil Dev lifted the World Cup. I wanted the same. It has been my dream all the time. However, it took me 22 years to make it possible. It felt better because I endured so much disappointment and pain in this process

When i toured to Pakistan for playing my first series I was not scared but excited. When Waqar’s bouncer hit me and blood flowed around my face, I did not quit. I stood with pain & hit a boundary the next ball. At that moment I knew that I am here to stay. So did the world.

Right from my first test century in old Trafford I played cricket in different complex and tough conditions. I played when a sandstorm disrupted the game in sharjah. I played when my legs are swollen with cramps in centurion. I was never afraid. But why am I now afraid to play?

Cricket gave me everything. I left a lot other comforts to devote my time to cricket. All these years all my beautiful dreams and nightmares were about cricket. I felt pride representing for India. And now, I am afraid that I can never experience these emotions again.

I have played with a lot of outstanding cricketers. I have played under greatest captains this land has ever produced. I saw my teammate fighting cancer and I saw my teammates losing grip in the game due to different reasons. I am fortunate I made this far. Am I lucky?

It’s not luck. Only I know how dedicated & focused I am in my career. I feared loss and practiced hundreds of hours to improve. I didn’t give up.A lot of dull moments, a lot of matches where we ended on losing side & a countless injuries that gave me both physical & mental strain

I learned how to restrict my emotions while playing the game. I used my mental strength to play without a single cover drive with Australia. I challenged myself by playing as an opener in Auckland and succeeded in making an impact.

#HappyBirthdaySachin

There are low points in my career. I have been sledged. I was given out wrongly a number of times. I was devastated when I knew about match fixing in my team. I have not been successful as a captain for the Indian cricket team.

#HappyBirthdaySachin

I accepted my mistakes and always had hope about the future. I was optimistic. When I was booed after conceding just 1 run after playing 21 balls I didn’t takes those insults into my heart.

#HappybirthdaySachin

Critical headlines like ‘ Endulkar’ didn’t make me lose hope. I always answered them with my bat. When I scored first ODI double century I think I gave them an answer. In the loudest way possible.

#HappybirthdaySachin

It has been difficult sometimes to reach fans expectations. Everyone know that I missed a lot of centuries by few runs. For me it’s just a run. But When whole country belovedly waited for my century I felt panic. I was afraid of letting them down. And that panic made me fall.

A lot of people say that my innings which did not help us win the game as their favourite game of mine. Be it centuries in Perth or Sydney or Chennai or Hyderabad. They loved those innings because I tried with all my strength. It is not always about winning

#HappybirthdaySachin

I was desperate to learn more about cricket when I was first coached by Achrekar sir. From then, I received a lot of appreciations and accolades in my life time. It felt great to visit bradman in person and get appreciations from him.

#HappyBirthdaySachin

I have got praises from my fellow cricketers and opponents. But if I have to chose one of all of those I would chose winning silver coins while I was learning cricket at 13. That silver coins made me passionate and ambitious. One should not forget where they started from.

Everyone have been selfless. Without the support from my family I don’t think I would be able to achieve what I have now. My mother, wife, My children everyone understood my dreams and fears. Ajit was behind me in every stage of my life mentoring and encouraging me.

And my father, I miss him. I remember with vivid tears how I scored a century and looked at the heavens in a match I played after he died. It was the most emotional moment in my life. He always asked me to take pride in playing for our country & I did it when he wanted the most

And now, it is my time to play for one last time for my country. I could hear the chants “ Sachin ... Sachin “ increasing in intensity. People loved me. People loved me more than I loved the sport. But I still can’t understand whether I deserved it or not.

#HappybirthdaySachin

When I saw the 22 yards that defined my life my fathers words reverberated in my ears

“ Be a good human first then a great cricketer“

And when I saw all the people thumping their love and respect towards me I understood that they loved me as a person first then as a cricketer

I think I deserved everything I got in my life.

I wanted to scream into the heavens and say to my father

“ I did what you asked me to do “

#HappybirthdaySachin

Love you @sachin_rt For me, you are a humble human being and a person with great passion and sincierity. Left watching cricket mostly after you retired. Happy birthday again

Ps : This is just my interpretation of Sachins last innings.

#HappybirthdaySachin