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Choosing celibacy as a gay person means choosing a life where literally 
nothingwill ever be enough. You literally become a stench to both camps, andbothwill stop at nothing to discredit you, shame you, twist your words, and exclude you from their places of power.
nothingwill ever be enough. You literally become a stench to both camps, andbothwill stop at nothing to discredit you, shame you, twist your words, and exclude you from their places of power.
Each side as their script. It’s always, “Say these things, do these things, be these things, & then you can have a seat at our special little table.” They want a puppet. Not a real flesh and blood person who has agency over their own life.
They all have a checklist to see if you deserve entry into their precious little camp, & the minute they realize that you’re living your life how YOU see fit, it’s over. “We don’t want gay ppl unless they think, say, & do exactly as we dictate.” Always the same.
In a lot of ways, I’ve accepted the reality of this in conservative Christianity. But it’s hard to accept in gay Christian communities amongst those who are supposed to be my people. Worse yet is when it happens in “progressive” camps that supposedly support gay autonomy.
Already, I’m hearing the objections from both camps: “But what about sin?” - “But what about toxic theology?” - “But what about this Scripture verse or that Scripture verse?” - “But what about mental health?”
The concept of gay autonomy is so frightening to people that they literally cannot conceive of it without imagining their own worldview being challenged and the things they hold dear being threatened. Straight autonomy doesn’t engender such extreme reactions. Only gay.
I get so tired of it. But I *have* to believe I’m not the only one fighting for a future where the scripts don’t exist. Where being gay has no more bearing upon another’s sense of entitlement to controlling how you live & think than being straight. I *know* I’m not the only one.
If you’re reading this, I hope you’re with me. Maybe we can build that better world together. If you’re not with me, then I hope you’ll at least keep listening and open your mind to the possibility that maybe I’m not a threat to what you believe and maybe that’s okay.
