As a child, I won't say I was possessed but there was a "spirit" ruling my actions. No amount of beating nor being talked to in a kind way would make me change from the bad things I do. Kpatakpata, I would stop it for 2 days and the "spirit" ruling my actions would come back.

The good thing about me then was that the bad and stubborn sides of me were displayed minimally outside; so to other parents, I was a good kid while theirs were the bad one in some cases.

The things I did as a 7 year old were shocking and could have followed a bad trajectory.

My parents figured out because "akpa mma" and "akpa mpa" were my major source of income which I use for some other unruly actions.

Can never forget how my mum used to take me to Blessed Sacrament many times in the evening. I was the prayer point, for God to change my bad ways.

Likewise, a major reason why my Parents sent me to Seminary School was for me to be in a place where I would be disciplined.

This continued until some point when I was 13, the "spirit" that leads me to do bad things left me. That day I felt it, it was like Saul becoming Paul

Today, I would consider myself as someone that is disciplined. Honesty has become a core value to me, I am no longer capable of harbouring bad thoughts.

Given my experience as a kid, I would say that neither beating nor being spoken kindly to absolutely works.

Parents can do their best, but it is not a guarantee that the kid will turn out good. As a child, I changed when the "spirit" leading me to do bad things left me. The beatings or words of advice from my parents helped but were not the major change agents.

Given my experience, I would adopt a coaching approach to parenting. Teaching my children about the consequences of their action and providing moral and physical support to help them achieve their aspirations.

That being said, I would be mindful that a coaching-parenting style do not guarantee raising good/successful children. So in the event of a bad situation, I would be comforted in knowing that I did my best.

Finally, I am not in support of beating children because it does not guarantee they would change, promotes child abuse, which is a serious issue in Africa and can lead to severe physical and mental damage.

** The "spirit" referred to in this thread does not really mean a ghost, but more of a force within me which I couldn't control, that continually led me to do bad things regardless of the advice or beaten I received.