Nothing in this thread is particularly objectionable but it's just so weird to see a thread about this written with 0 awareness or acknowledgement of the fact that monogamy is the overwhelmingly, legally enshrined default in every single western country https://twitter.com/plsleaveamsg/status/1252960566420877314

It's written like monogamous people are some kind of misunderstood minority when in fact the exact opposite of that is true

Which kinda makes the fact that 24 thousand people hit like on that first tweet feel a little

My experience is that people who are assholes about being polyamorous and act superior because of it do exist, but there aren't really that many of them and conversely monogamous people are liable to perceive any polyamorous person talking about their experiences as an attack

Online sometimes it's very much

Polyamorous person: h
Monogamous person: you're not better than me. it's not progressive to shame me for being monogamous. I'm not jealous it's just a preference. stop being shitty. loads of polyamory is just abuse actually

So like, maybe that's why polyamorous people get defensive sometimes. It's not really that unreasonable given that, like every polyamorous person will tell you, we are culturally shunned and legally marginalized

The world shits on polyamorous people constantly - not just with people being judgemental, but with actual, legal marginalization. You don't need to rant on twitter just cause one polyamorous person said something slightly off-colour yesterday that probably wasn't even about you

Like a lot of polyamorous people will say 'I'm polyamorous because being jealous about partners just doesn't make sense to me.' That's not actually them judging you and calling you jealous, it's just them explaining their own experience in their own words that are just about them

The most exhausting part is that if you even mention that polyamorous people are marginalized by the legal systems of every western country, you get people acting like you're claiming it's like being trans or something

No we're just talking about what literally happens

So yeah. There's some defensiveness

Maybe work through it? Quietly? Seems like that should be easy enough given that you are in the overwhelming majority

And if you really desperately want to tweet what amounts to 'it's ok to be monogamous' (something that our dominant culture agrees with and loudly endorses 110%), you should probably clarify that you're not trying to shit on polyamorous people. That's not an unreasonable ask here

Honestly I wouldn't even care if I'd ever met one monogamous person who seemed to give a shit about e.g. eliminating the overwhelming legal bias in favor of monogamy. But I haven't. Seems like a lot of monogamous people just want us to put up with it and be quiet...