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In my experience being beaten as a child introduced fear of authority. It made us learn how to lie, cheat and hide things so that we don& #39;t get beaten more. I remember all the times my dad sat me down and talked to me like a person. It made me feel seen and do better.
Raising my kid in a country where it& #39;s illegal to beat people is challenging.I learned how to introduce consequences instead of punishment(bought a tv so that I can take it away when he misbehaves!) My kid still acts his age,immature and plain stupid,but he isn& #39;t terrified of me.
Once again, this is just how I chose to do things, to raise a person that can be reasoned with, can defend their actions, and can take the consequences that ensue. It& #39;s not easy, it isn& #39;t supposed to be easy. It continues to make both of us grow as humans.
You get creative. You put yourself in their shoes. I keep reminding him that I was once a teenager and I understand that it& #39;s a hard time. He keeps telling me that I was never a teenage boy, lol.
Cc: @madyazz
Cc: @madyazz
So you also learn to listen. As in really listen. My kid points out shit that I didn& #39;t even realise I was doing to him, because he knows I will listen and make better choices. He will try to manipulate me, as they do, but I do see right through him.
There has been countless times when I have looked at him and just wanted to wring his little neck or beat the insolence out of him, BELIEVE ME !! What stops me ? I don& #39;t know. I just walk away. Calm myself down. Let him cool off too. Then make some tea and sit with him and talk.
