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In my experience being beaten as a child introduced fear of authority. It made us learn how to lie, cheat and hide things so that we don't get beaten more. I remember all the times my dad sat me down and talked to me like a person. It made me feel seen and do better.
Raising my kid in a country where it's illegal to beat people is challenging.I learned how to introduce consequences instead of punishment(bought a tv so that I can take it away when he misbehaves!) My kid still acts his age,immature and plain stupid,but he isn't terrified of me.
Once again, this is just how I chose to do things, to raise a person that can be reasoned with, can defend their actions, and can take the consequences that ensue. It's not easy, it isn't supposed to be easy. It continues to make both of us grow as humans.
You get creative. You put yourself in their shoes. I keep reminding him that I was once a teenager and I understand that it's a hard time. He keeps telling me that I was never a teenage boy, lol.
Cc: @madyazz
Cc: @madyazz
So you also learn to listen. As in really listen. My kid points out shit that I didn't even realise I was doing to him, because he knows I will listen and make better choices. He will try to manipulate me, as they do, but I do see right through him.
There has been countless times when I have looked at him and just wanted to wring his little neck or beat the insolence out of him, BELIEVE ME !! What stops me ? I don't know. I just walk away. Calm myself down. Let him cool off too. Then make some tea and sit with him and talk.
