Read on Twitter
Thread on feedback (in a work context or in real life) https://twitter.com/captain_mrs/status/1253227013323862017
1. Why feedback? Usually because you want someone to change some behaviour or do more of it.
(There are some edge cases here which I'll come back to)
(There are some edge cases here which I'll come back to)
2. The worst feedback crime is not being specific.
Have you ever received feedback from someone and thought "I'm not really sure what they want me to do?"
Or "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this"
Ughh
Now you just feel bad and confused for no reason
Have you ever received feedback from someone and thought "I'm not really sure what they want me to do?"
Or "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this"
Ughh
Now you just feel bad and confused for no reason
3. To have any chance of giving good feedback you need to be specific.
Start with something you actually saw them do
Or if it's something you think is a pattern, note down some examples
Like: "your last write-up had 7 typos in it"
Or: "you gave me that tip last week on..."
Start with something you actually saw them do
Or if it's something you think is a pattern, note down some examples
Like: "your last write-up had 7 typos in it"
Or: "you gave me that tip last week on..."
4. Corollary: second hand feedback is *ugh*
Don't tell on someone to their boss, if you haven't told them face to face
(If you're a manager, don't pass on feedback for others)
Work with a manager on preparing, if you need to
Have backup if you need to
But do it yourself
Don't tell on someone to their boss, if you haven't told them face to face
(If you're a manager, don't pass on feedback for others)
Work with a manager on preparing, if you need to
Have backup if you need to
But do it yourself
5. Now an observation alone could be valid feedback:
"I just want to reflect back something that happened yesterday, and see what you think"
Then the outcome is in their hands - you could have a mutual exploration of that together.
This is open-ended and generaly quite safe
"I just want to reflect back something that happened yesterday, and see what you think"
Then the outcome is in their hands - you could have a mutual exploration of that together.
This is open-ended and generaly quite safe
6. Sometimes you've got a particular outcome in mind though - you wanna boost their confidence in doing something, or they've gotta stop doing something that's hurting the business/their team/you.
7. This part can be tricky - what if they disagree?
The trick is to now _say why it matters to you_, and ideally _in a frame of reference that matters to them_
Sometimes you both care about the same thing and it's easy, but sometimes that second part might take some exploring
The trick is to now _say why it matters to you_, and ideally _in a frame of reference that matters to them_
Sometimes you both care about the same thing and it's easy, but sometimes that second part might take some exploring
8. Like, for example, if both of you care about your feelings, and it's something that hurt your feelings, then it might be something like
"when you said XYZ this morning, I felt pretty hurt by that, because... Can we talk about this?"
But sometimes it takes more steps
"when you said XYZ this morning, I felt pretty hurt by that, because... Can we talk about this?"
But sometimes it takes more steps
9. A more complex example going from "your view" to "their view":
- write-up had 7 typos
- this write-up is customer facing, it looks unprofessional
- I need you to be able to produce these write-ups independently
- it's a burden on the rest of the team to have to check them
- write-up had 7 typos
- this write-up is customer facing, it looks unprofessional
- I need you to be able to produce these write-ups independently
- it's a burden on the rest of the team to have to check them
10. So in the example above, I care about the business impact to customers and I know they care about how well they work with their team.
If you don't know them that well, you might try a few different framing
If you don't know them that well, you might try a few different framing
11. After you've given the specific observation and described why it matters, I find the best thing to do is allow an open-ended discussion of what to do about it
open discussion offers a chance to explore and learn, and they're more likely to find an action that works for them
open discussion offers a chance to explore and learn, and they're more likely to find an action that works for them
12. If you're in a rush or inclined to be more direct, you could give your suggestion of what they do and skip the discussion.
You are then relying on your initial feedback being well delivered enough that they go and ponder it in their own time!
Less reliable, but much faster
You are then relying on your initial feedback being well delivered enough that they go and ponder it in their own time!
Less reliable, but much faster
13. Most of my thoughts here are also explained very well in this Lara Hogan article https://larahogan.me/blog/feedback-equation/
14. I caveatted at the start about edge cases
I think there is a place for unspecific positive praise
Particularly for people who suffer from negative self-talk
We do need to hear that we're generally OK, competent, and doing a good job
I think there is a place for unspecific positive praise
Particularly for people who suffer from negative self-talk
We do need to hear that we're generally OK, competent, and doing a good job
15. Do regular unspecific praise for people who need it!
Talk to people about whether they need it, and how often they want it
Let them give you feedback on whether its working well
But ALSO do proper specific feedback, separately
They're just totally different things!
Talk to people about whether they need it, and how often they want it
Let them give you feedback on whether its working well
But ALSO do proper specific feedback, separately
They're just totally different things!
16. One final thought - not all behaviour can be changed.
A good rule of thumb: if you've given the same, specific, corrective feedback 3 times and it is still happening? It's probably not gonna change
Work around it. Accommodate. Compromise.
There are other ways to fix it
A good rule of thumb: if you've given the same, specific, corrective feedback 3 times and it is still happening? It's probably not gonna change
Work around it. Accommodate. Compromise.
There are other ways to fix it
(end of thread)
