yes, i'm just a small account but i really do have a deep story of how i became one of you armys, of how i never regret to love and support bts++

sad story but i was born and woke up with cruelties, betrayals, fights and pains— my parents fought with knives on each hans before my eyes, my family & relatives wars, gossips behind my family's back & sick siblings who sent oftenly in the hospitals. these made me grew unwell.++

imagine a bright gifted child of me who can read & write in such an early age specifically 3& a half years old to be exact was wasted because of these tragic life. i grew up with a not so healthy mentality++

i isolated myself— got fears to all people around me. trust was undeniably my issue. i stayed away from those at my age who want to be friended by me. & when i got bullied i just cried at the corner without fighting back. really it sucks flashing back those memory.++

my primary school and high school days was not so exciting for me. yes i get excelled in my studies but never wanted to be on the top— be in the 10th rank student is better enough for me, bcos i don't want to be seen, known and exposed— i literally hate crowds++

as i grew older the fights betwn my families & the misunderstandings betwn my parents got wider— that gave me trauma & panick attacks. that everytime i'm witnessing their fights, my chest feel pains & caused breathless. miracalously, i survived five attacks where i nearly died++

to make my story short, i will jump to where i get to know bts. it's July 2015, i was a freshmen in college— there was me sitting alone at the corner of the class room on a lunch time when 1 of my classm8 watching something on her laptop++

i heard her talking with my other classm8 about bts while watching their dope mv. they were exo-l's & i heard plagiarizing & sum bad stuffs accusing to these 7 boys++

idk but i sneaked watching at their backs. then that the 1st time i laid my eyes to bts. i was curious why they got to deserve to get bad murmurs when i saw how talented they are in that mv.since i knew exo bcos of my kpop addicts classm8, i saw that these bts are uncomparable++

since i really do appreciate musics & talents, i fell inlove of how they dance.if no one knows, i was an ace dancer when i was child, i was called elastic li'l girl— although rn not anymore. so bcoz of aching to watch their moves again, i always stay on a comp shop after class++

just to watch them. i always do that until i get to know all about of the members, of how they started to a low rookie. every accusations they are getting from toxic ppl was a pain to me. i mean they don't have the right to tell them those accused words, they don't deserved it++

that moment i spilled some curse bcos of frustrations— that “one day, a time comes that these boys they wanted to get rid off will shine like stars in the galaxies, and no one will never afford and reach them.”++

until my love for them got deeper. and while stanning them, i found myself changing— the silent & lonely me was unexpectedly accepted friends. well, i considered it as a 1st step since i still have fears on stay talking with people.++

that 1st step led me to unisolating myself & learn to deal with people. maybe, i really needed that back then since i get education as my degree. bts continually helped me to get out of my shell++

and i really thanked God these times for giving what i've been praying for— a cure to myself. because i believed that bts was God's instrument to help me and it is my fate to get to know them++

but unexpectedly, luck wasn't always on my side. yes, i just gave & gave love and trusts not until the persons i've been trusting betrayed me, used me and cheated behind my back. i got more pains & pains until i got a breakdown++

i thought i was fully cured— but i got worst. i was mentally sick and suicidal. that if i don't believe God was always beside me, i was really long gone. those times i got lay lowed on bts stuffs. even those days were when they starting to be known globally and reaching the top++

i thought that maybe i took too much dosage of them. so my mom get me to doctor & the doctor said that my childhood experience caused me that mental illness so i needed to get an appointment to a psychiatrist but bcos we can't afford, the doc told me that++

only my own self can cure me. so i as pondered everything, bts new songs and old songs still played on my playlists as if i can think more enough with it. until the songs went get deeper on my mind as if it was burried in my mind and soul++

the meaning of the lyrics of every songs were getting meaningful to me like there was answer there to all of my questions about life. then i found myself crying harder over these songs as i got what means so much to me++

that since the moment God let me know about bts, i was in a process of a great healing not only with the persons but also with their meanigful songs. the next revelation followed when namjoon got his first speech at unicef and it was the best moment of mylife++

that day i cried to much not because of pain but because of a relief that the cure i was wanting to get more is here— namjoon's highly meaningful speech.++

after that, i constantly changing. i learned to voice myself, my rights as a human and the confidence that was hidden within me for a long time came out. that was the time i came to twitter and that moment i was engaged to every armys internationally.++

and that's my long yet memorable story. i wasn't able to tell the whole story but i chose the highlights of my own story. i still remember wvery detail since iit was placed on my memory bank(journal)— since the doctor said that i might have dementia when i get old++

well yes, the doctor found some symptoms & i can't do anything about that.++

maybe i am not meant to grow old with my memories but it will surely remain in my heart. this is why i never get my eyes laid to other kpop idols because i really don't have the interest at all but with bts— my life's fate meets them.++

but my only wish before i get lost my memory and die is to meet them— not as a fan but as a friend to thank them. let them know that outside their own world, there's someone was cured and healed by them with just knowing their existence. my love will always be with them.

i know we have all diff stories of how bts change us but whatever it is we should be thankful. so now this is the end of this thread.i don't need a numbers of likes and rtwts. this is my story i wanted to share. i will just leave it here.

#ThankYouBTS @BTS_twt