Sir Alan Sugar as an OSCE examiner: a thread

Nice as pie on your arrival to the station.

Making sure you make use of the alcohol gel. This is probably the peak of his concentration. You shouldn't be missing those marks.

Listening to you introduce yourself and make a meal out of confidentiality like most of your contemporaries have done already.

It's only two minutes in. You have asked about ideas, concerns and expectations already and you have summarised three times. No diagnostic progress has been made.

Listening to you try to explain inheritance in layman terms using the 'recipe book' metaphor, however you just listed the ingredients for a carbonara

The simulated patient has asked a scripted question, the answer for which there is one mark.

Struggling to keep up with your train of thought now. You've asked about change in bowel habit four times and already suggested you would provide the patient with a leaflet of some description.

The simulated patient has gone rogue, asking non-scripted questions. He is worried this may give you grounds for complaint if he doesn't pass you.

Two minute warning bell! It's now question time.

You say you would like to perform fundoscopy and urinalysis but don't really have any rationale for such investigations.

There's a whole minute left and all questions have been asked. With this grin, he's subtly letting you know that you have made several catastrophic errors.

That minute is still not over. Soak it up.

Final bell has gone. Exit station and cry.

He debriefs with the simulated patient once you are out of earshot.