Thread by @xanthiel_grey, *Right* b4 quarantine i was shopping for a new pair of oxfords [...]

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xanthiel_grey

*Right* b4 quarantine i was shopping for a new pair of oxfords but i sLAMMED the brakes on that bc i was like “k well i wont be able to wear em out n it’d b like... a rly big wasted investment.” I mean. Bscly the opposite of investment. Lol. Just... a waste. But.

I think i also got slammed w a rly big wave of depression n didnt rly recognize it as such bc... the symptoms were kinda diff. Ya, ive been keeping up w hygiene REALLY well n eating regularly n exercising a good amount... but...

Ive earned literally $0 bc i havent worked. Ive had zero creative output. I stopped suiting up. Besides doing things just to keep myself alive, the only thing ive done is play video games. A LOT.

I guess it was a way to distract myself from the fact that Everything Is Pointless in a different, much more intense, all-consuming way than it has been at possibly any other point in my life. “You can do ur best—do ‘everything right’—n die bc a bitch coughed.”

Idk i havent processed it. I dont think any human can ever possibly—

Sigh

All this, tho v important, is v tangenty re: why i started this thread lol

Its actually prolly a good time to get those Oxfords:
1. I can just wear em at home n enjoy em w/o worrying about the perils of wearing em out the house
2. I have time to hone my shoe care skills (which i was gonna needa learn anyway)
3. I’ll have my shoes ready for After

Also, updates on those other aspects of my depression i mentioned earlier:
• started doing music again this wk
• I’ve suited up 3x!
• got spotify n have been listening to at least 1 new album every day
• been spending time outside n gaming less
• cooked some meals

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