There’s a big difference between monogamy-as-in-dating/wanting-to-date-only-one-person and monogamy as in taking a strong controlling moral stance over your partner’s sexuality, monitoring closely for ‘cheating’, embracing associated cultural values and assumptions...

When I complain about monogamy I mean the latter.

I believe there are toxic people out there who pressure people into having more partners than they’re comfortable with. But I also feel like a lot of the anti-polyamory discourse IS driven by moralizing disgust with sexuality.

There’s always this tone of contempt... things like ‘I felt pressured into being okay with it because everyone I knew was polyamorous’

Like... so you’re saying you’re not okay with it?

We don’t owe it to you to change our relationship style.

If someone tried to pressure you into sex that’s wrong

There’s nothing wrong with only wanting to sleep with one person

Just... my experience with polyamorous people is that they’re good at respecting boundaries. I guess we knew different people. But it feels like slander.

Also I’m NOT using the word polyam it has DISGUSTING mouthfeel.

As a final aside I don’t understand the people who make a big deal out of not having time for multiple partners. Do you hang out with friends? Having sex with someone isn’t more of a time investment than other forms of spending time.