Thread.

I’ve wanted to make this psa since I was a kid.

When a person bereaved by suicide tells you about their loss, the right response is “That’s really hard. How are you doing?”

Not “Oh my gosh, that is horrible! What a tragedy. I’m so sorry.” /1

Not “They were really brave.”
Even a positive judgment could be a misled or unhelpful judgment.

Platitudes like “time will heal” are meaningless (as with most grief).

I’m not saying these things to shame you for your natural reactions to shocking news. /2

It is awkward for both parties and the grief after a suicide is really unpredictable — ebbs and flows. Anger to sadness to idolization to denial and so on. It might be hard to read the bereaved, but this response really is the safest and most encouraging. /3

If your reaction is out of proportion, it often makes the bereaved feel that they must care for YOUR emotional response. They’ll likely respond with something in an effort to make you more comfortable.

It’s ok to be uncomfortable. /4