The fuck is the Aristocats supposed to be about

A group of French kittens who live with their mother, Eva Gabor

And they live with a classy opera singer who’s lawyer (boyfriend?) is a 90 year old man who hates elevators

Edgar the Butler is mad because his boss wants to leave THE WHOLE ENTIRE ESTATE to her cats

So he DRUGS the cats (and a mouse who is dressed like a detective and voiced by Winnie The Pooh) and kidnaps them

The cats encounter a groovy steer cat who sings his name and tries to sleep with Eva Gabor but the kittens cock block him

Then he almost drowns but is rescued by two English geese, who shame him and Eva Gabor for being unwed (???)

Then the group, lead by the geese, WALK to Paris (????) and run into the geese’s drunk Uncle Waldo (????????????)

Meanwhile, Edgar runs afoul two wise-cracking dogs

The cats decide after a long day of walking ACROSS FRANCE they’ll kick back at a swingers club

I’m grateful that there’s no cat butthole in this film.

The cats are now moshing and tbh it looks kinda fun. This song is a banger

The cats are holding tails! That’s pretty darn cute

Thomas O’Malley might have worms or something, Eva Gabor. Watch out

“Well. I almost had a father.” - a kitten dropping an outta the blue truth bomb

The mouse detective finds the swingers and they interrogate him to name ONE of O’Malley’s half dozen names, and he is STRUGGLING

And the movie producer said, “what do you call this show?”

And they said “... THE ARISTOCATS!”