I have some thoughts about parenting through a pandemic. Especially being a parent of young kids while working in academia in NYC during a global pandemic.

A thread: 1/n

@OpenAcademics #WomenInSTEM #WFHwithkids

For those who don’t know me, I’m a mom of 2 (I have a 6 y/o and a 3 y/o), a virologist, and I just hit the one year mark of my postdoc. Since I live in Queens and my work is in Manhattan and because schools/daycare are closed, I haven’t been to lab in 6 weeks. 2/

In so many ways, I’ve been very lucky. We’re all healthy. My spouse is only working a few days per week at home via telemedicine, so he’s around to help with the kids. Our daycare bills & student loan payments are on hold for the foreseeable future. 3/

But I’m struggling. I’m in a small, 2 bedroom apartment with my family all day with no yard & no space for the kids to run. The kids are doing the best they can, but every night it devolves into the WWE in our house and someone gets hurt. 4/

Homeschooling is HARD. I have a spouse who splits it with me & I still think it’s hard. I am so NOT a kindergarten teacher. Every day it’s a battle against screen time. The kids are only quiet if there’s a screen on, but the more screen time they have, the worse they behave. 5/

But the hardest part is that I feel like I’m not doing anything well. I’m definitely not productive working from home. Reading more than one paper a day is success for me right now. And I know I’m a much better mother when I get to go to work and have that time for myself. 6/

Under normal working from home conditions, I could go to the library or coffee shop somewhere away from kids and get even a couple hours to think for myself. But these are not normal times. I have not had space or time to truly think, write, or analyze data since this started. 7/

In academia, productivity is important. And I just don’t know how to be productive while at home parenting two kids in the epicenter of a global pandemic. Everyday is a battle not to compare myself to people in academia w/o kids who can actually get (some) stuff done. 8/

This is the first time I’ve ever felt disadvantaged for being a young(ish) mom in science. Before this, I had wonderful support from academic advisors and mentors in my journey. But this pandemic has shown that there are 2 groups: Those with and those without young kids. 9/

I’m so incredibly proud of the amazing science being done at breakneck speed in my department. I just wish I could be a part of it. Being the only postdoc with kids in my department used to be a point of pride, but now it’s just isolating. 10/

In summary, I’m glad I’m a mom in academia. But man, this shit is HARD during a pandemic. And I know it’s hurting my career. My publications will suffer. I miss my pipettes dreadfully. But taking care of my family has to be more important.
11/11 #WomenInSTEM