. @MarcosWithAnOh may or may not be under the influence (i cannot confirm or deny) and he’s actually going to be following a recipe to make cookies so I’ll be live tweeting. Stay tuned.

Don’t worry I’ll thread.

Him: “Do we have baking soda? Baking powder too?”

Me: “yes!”

Him: “what’s the fucking difference?!?”

Him: “only one egg?!”

Me: “if that’s what the recipe calls for yes!”

Him: “that’s ridiculous. I’m using like 6”

He didn’t know there were a range of sizes for measuring cups and spoons.

He sounded shocked.

“1 stick of butter is only a half cup?! God damn! And it needs to be room temp?!”

“Sugar? Like just normal sugar?”

“That’s soft ass butter. How do I cream this? Cream?!? It’s so buttery... my fingers are perma lubed..”

Me: “have you literally never followed a recipe before?”

Him: “NO! wtf? It’s actually turning into something. Whoa.”

@NateSuperFamous: “how high are you?”

Him: “pretty high.”

Him: “one cup of vanilla extract...”

Nate and I: “WHAT?!?!”

Him: “that’s brutal!”

Me: “what is?”

Him: “stirring that shit. I feel like I just had a jerk-off-a-thon”

Him: “now to add my signature flair!”

I don’t know what he put into the bowl.

Him: “we need a big baking sheet. If only that big cupcake pan was flat....”

We have two pretty big baking sheets guys.

Him: “I need to ball these up in my hand?”

Me: “yeah!”

Him: “but it’s so sticky tho...”

Me: “why....?”

Him after taking another hit: “you don’t have to flatten them out? You just put them in a ball? Really?”

Me: “yes”

Him: “interesting...”