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My best friend reminded me of the worst first date I ever went on in my life last summer, and I had deleted the thread when I tweeted about it back then so, here's a thread for your entertainment purposes only
It was July 2019, this fine ass brown man slid in my dms, we gon call him bozo, bc that's what my friends and I refer to him as. He had green eyes and such a nice personality, and me being the astro bitch that I am, I looked up his chart and it was the EXACT same as mine--
Obvs, I wanted to get to know him so we talked for like 3 weeks or so and we finally decided it was time to link. He wanted to take me on a date and I thought he was cool af so why not??? We decided to meet in ATL bc it was equidistant from us and the day of, he sent me an addy.
I didn't think too much of it and pulled up around 4:30pm. Turned out, he had rented out an AirBnb which was weird but I wasn't going to let that deter me yet. I walk in and put my stuff down, and see a glass of champagne and a half empty bottle on the counter.. HE WAS DRUNK???
That was red flag #1, but we had hit it off so well leading up to this moment that I was willing to see where this led. We smoked a fat ass blunt and walked down to some taco bar in Midtown, where we ate appetizers and he DRANK MORE?? Then he proceeded to ask me abt school--
He starts asking me when I'm graduating and what my plan is, and me being the honest person that I am, I told him that I wasn't 100% sure of what the future held for me. His response? "You're 21, you should probably figure that out." Excuse me????
I let it slide and eventually we went back to the AirBnB to chill, which was even weirder after that awful conversation at the taco place. He asked me if I wanted Indian food and I figured I'd make the most of my time in the city and said okay.
He said he'd drive, and I prob should have said no considering how much he had been drinking but it slipped my mind at the time.. we get in the car and I start telling him about all the bad luck I had driving (I was in 3 accidents in 2018). I tell him this and guess what he does.
THIS MAN TURNS THE WRONG WAY. ON A ONE WAY. IN ATLANTA. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!!! My heart rate went up so fucking high, I was literally terrified by the time we reached the Indian restaurant. Now, this is the part that's gon KILL y'all--
We sit down and they bring out the papad and I start nervously SHOVELING papad into my mouth, so much so that I accidentally started CHOKING. I'm sitting here, trying not to cough, eyes watering in front of this man, and he JUST KEEPS FUCKING TALKING. No "are you okay?" NOTHING.
I eventually realized this man was useless and excused myself to the bathroom the perform the fucking Heimlich on myself against the sink until I coughed up a literal BALL of papad. I came out and sat down and said, "I was choking." Y'all.......
This man looked me DEAD in my eye and replied, "That was a little dramatic." HUH????? ME CHOKING??? WAS DRAMATIC??? I could have DIED???? Oh my god..... I was literally speechless after that. What the fuck bro
At that point, I was looking for any excuse to get away because clearly this man was a RAGING narcissist. I ended up saying that my dogsitter cancelled and needed to get home. He has the audacity to say, "That's fine, I'll come up to Kennesaw next time baby." I was so disgusted
I kid y'all not, I blocked this man on I-75. Blockety block blockEDT. And that is the story of when I went on a date with a fucking narcissistic sociopath who tried to kill me, not once, but TWICE.
