Look man, I’m a fucking WHIZ in the kitchen, & I followed these easy recipes for #DalgonaCoffee to a T.

Allow me to call out the ENTIRE internet on this Dalgona bullshit:

This drink is a disgusting hot mess bullshit cocktail & y’all just too embarrassed to look UNCOOL

1/thread

First of all, do NOT think your ass is gonna make this by HAND if you don’t have an electric mixer or frother or mechanized means of whipping. Don’t even.

I did both. Neither is worth it but especially not by hand. One time I whipped an entire batch of buttercream that way. No.

Second of all, this shit is like glue mixed with marshmallow fluff. Good fuckin luck if you get it on anything and do not notice immediately If you’re a person who hates cleaning up right away? Skip it. That shit is a sticky mess!

Third of all, there is no amount of sugar going to cut the bitter acidity that is instant coffee, and unless you have REALLY good instant coffee? It’s going to taste like if Dunkin Donuts forgot to whip the “vanilla swirl” flavor into your coffee.

Fourth, this shit about “stir it into your drink to make a latte” also sounds great, but it doesn’t come with a warning. This shit does NOT dissolve quickly and displaces more milk faster than it can dissolve making a huge ass mess ! It’s sticky and nasty.

I fucking love coffee in (nearly) all of its forms and I’m so excited to try new drinks. I used to have an espresso machine at home until I broke it I own 3 French presses, a pour over, an electric coffee maker, and I broke a Moka Pot from overuse

I used to be a product photographer for a wholesaler of home goods and had to learn latte art and drink pouring. Sure I’m not an award winning barista in a competitive market or contest, but I’d suffice it to say I’ve made MORE than my fair share of coffee drinks. Truly!

So please, believe me when I assure you that this drink is hardly even worth the photo or mess Just....honestly buy yourself some coffee ice cream and pour a shot of espresso over it or a half a cup of strong coffee and make yourself an affogato. It’s better. Your welcome

If you do make it, take that photo fast af because the longer this sits and starts to sink into your milk? The more mess you’re gonna get sliding down your glass lmdaoooo!

If you do make it and want to mix it after you took your Gram Worthy photo! POUR THE DAMN THING IN ANOTHER GLASS!!! Lmoa cause this is what happened when I tried to stir mine in our classy af highball glasses...I had to put it in another giant glass.

I’m sorry but this is not a delicious or eye catching drink and it’s just not worth the physical labor of mess if you have to do any mixing or cleaning by hand (some of us don’t have dishwashers )

Idk a 3/10 because is cheap but unless my bf tells me he absolutely loves the shit out of his decaf version I am never making this again lmaooooo fuck that.

Bonus Pro tip to anyone who wants to make an AMAZING espresso drink or a latte at home without a fancy machine or gadgets!

Get yourself a small French press, a burr grinder or electric grinder, and top quality as fresh as you can get it espresso. It’s worth it. 1/mini thread

Heat your French press w very warm water while boiling a pot of water on the stove or electric kettle.
When water is boiled, empty French press, dry it out with a tea towel, add in an appropriate amount of coarsely ground espresso per size of your press, slowly pour water over 2/

the grinds until it’s about 1/2in from very top of French press, let that sit 30-60sec and then gently stir with wooden or ceramic utensil so grinds are dispersed. Put lid on press by do not depress plunger. Let coffee sit like that for 3-5mins then push down the plunger to 3/

press the grinds down. Immediately pour this into a cup or mug and drink straight up if you want a good ass shot or so of espresso!

If you’d like to learn how to make a latte with your French press read on: 4/

This works best if you have a second French press for frothing and one for coffee so you can froth your milk/milk substitute while waiting for espresso to brew!
In a heat proof container bring some milk to warm but not boiling, add sweetener or vanilla if desired & dissolve... 5/

Do NOT use cream for this you’ll end up w whipped cream or butter (ask me how I know LOLOLOL) just MILK or nondairy “milk” only.

This part is a lot of physical work but you’re going to rapidly push the plunger up and down on the milk in the French press creating foam and air! 6/

Keep doing this plunge/I plunge motion until the milk is foamy and frothy to your liking.

Pour your hot fresh brewed espresso into a fairly large mug, then slowly pour your frothed milk in with the lid on the French press. Remove lid/plunger & gently spoon foam into mug 7/

VOILA YOU MADE YOUR ASS A LATTE THAT TASTES FAR FUCKIN BETTER THAN THIS DALGONA NONSENSE.

Bonus you can also put a single scoop of gelato or ice cream in a mug and pour your freshly brewed espresso over it and let it melt into creamy coffee deliciousness!!!!!

Honestly a French press is cheap af and works so well and the coffee is so smooth and palatable if you’re looking for good coffee fast and easy and don’t want a whole machine.