Every day, I catch up on Twitter, Instagram, and Discord. I skim Facebook and check LINE chat to see if there have been any new posts.

I play a bit of Animal Crossing, maybe some FFXIV, and watch a lot of TV.

My last shift at work was March 15th. I was officially furloughed as of April 12th. I am likely not going back to work until the end of this year, because by the time it would be deemed "safe" for me to return, I'll likely be on maternity leave.

This is Day 38 of my quarantine. I feel as though I am starting to lose it, just a little. Things that held my attention before are starting to hold my attention a little less every day.

I rarely get out of bed before 12:30pm every day. I rarely shower before 4:30pm every day.

My husband is considered an "essential worker", and the only good thing about it is that at least we still have one paycheck coming into the house every week.

My husband is also the one doing the shopping every week. We try to limit his trips to one day a week.

Some weeks (like this one) that doesn't work, and he sacrifices his lunch break so he can visit the grocery store before he gets out of work for the day at 6pm.

I have not left my apartment since April 10th. On that day, he had to take me to the hospital for an ultrasound, and

then to my doctor's office for a follow-up, because I was having a lot of pain (everything is fine). I was terrified to go to the hospital.

It was the first ultrasound since I found out I was pregnant that he was not allowed to come with me. My next one is 4 weeks from Thursday.

He will likely not be able to accompany me to that one either.

I was managing, until today. Now I feel as if I am slowly losing my mind. I want to play games but don't know what I want to play. I am tired of watching the same shows on TV every day.

Reading only hold my attention for so long.

I cleaned off my dresser on Sunday, and my dining table yesterday, and should do dishes today, but cleaning off the dining table killed my back and I'm afraid to do too much today and make it worse.

Every day I look at makeup and dice and jewelry websites and contemplate doing a bit of shopping. Nothing crazy, since I have no income coming in and bills to pay, but little things. I ordered 2 rings and a bracelet last week, got them on Monday, and have worn them for 2 days.

Today before I wear them again I am finally going to wash them with hand soap and hot water so my brain will stop telling me they're contaminated and so am I.

This is the dilemma I face every time I want to shop.

Is it safe? Is it worth it?

There isn't really a point to this thread. I was just catching up on my Twitter feed and suddenly felt so overwhelmed to the point where I needed to share/vent and just get everything out and maybe update people about my situation.

That sounds more dramatic than I meant it.

Simply put, the only thing that is keeping me sane during the day when I'm alone and my husband is at work, is the periodic movement/kicks of my daughter as she reminds me she's still here, and she's the reason I am not completely losing my mind being off work.

Social distancing is for her.

It's so I don't give birth in 15 weeks and then have to be separated from her for a month because I'm sick.

It's so I don't have to worry about doing something to hurt her.

Nearly every day I tell her how much I already love her.

I tell her I'm doing this for her.

It makes it slightly easier.

I want this to end as much as everyone else, but I want it to end intelligently. I downplay the numbers in my own head so I won't go crazy. I allow myself an hour of news every night, just to stay informed.

I stay on social media for entertainment, and because I pick my phone up every 10 minutes anyway. But after today ... after today I may need a break.

So if I disappear for a while, don't worry. I'm here. I'm just trying to keep what sanity I have left.