::rubs face:: Folks. Okay. Gather 'round. Let me 'splain a thing.

I love fanfic on general principle! I still write and read it myself! But.

Stop sending me your fanfiction of my stuff.

I have repeatedly pointed out that I cannot read fiction based on my own works. This is for your protection as well as mine! Ideas can't be copyrighted but language can be, and adaptations of my stuff probably use some of mine. Stop sending me shit.

It doesn't matter if you do it in the form of a screenplay, or a "free-form poem as part of a visual art exhibit," or whatever. If I see it, I'm going to tell you not to do it. I am not going to give you my blessing. And if you *send it to my inbox,* I'm likely to see it. Stop.

At any given time, my agents -- including film agents -- are actively shopping my works around to Hollywood and other adaptive media venues (comics publishers, audiobook publishers, etc.). You want to see my works adapted, right? Me, too! So stop sending me shit.

I genuinely love your enthusiasm, folks. I'm flattered to know that a fandom exists for my work! But there's a way this has to work. A social contract, so to speak. Your end of it is super-simple: DO. NOT. SEND. ME. YOUR. FANFIC. OF. MY. STUFF.

Third time this month alone. WTF.

Brought to you by the Old-School Fandom Cranky Grumble, "In My Day We Didn't Send Fics To Authors Because Everybody Understood How This Works And We Didn't Want To Put Them In An Awkward Position -- Like Forcing Them to Say Something on Twitter." And the letter F.

Almost forgot: this includes translations into another language, if you don't work for a publisher who's bought the translation rights. Translations are an adaptation!