I have officially watched all 9 Star Wars movies in 2 weeks after seeing zero official Star Wars content for my entire life. Here are my rankings:

1. EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE
- Decent Spaceballs parody
- Leia and Han are hot
- Not scary/violent
- Minimal incest

2. EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
- Yoda!!!!!
- Leia and Han even hotter
- Slightly scary but still okay
- Slightly more incest
- I don't remember what happens in this movie

I messed up the thread because I got a couple of the titles wrong but here it is for convenience:

i also don't care if i got the episode number wrong. The system is stupid and that has nothing to do with me