Ok. @AmandaSoprano and I just did our COVID-19 tests. Y’all want a funny thread for your morning? You’re gonna get one. Keep in mind, yes we were respectful and took it seriously. But also yes it was entertaining.

K. So we drive up, the line is like, idk, 50 people? We pop in line, we’re offered water and masks. Everyone’s got masks on. But there’s this one dude that’s in a full on hazmat suit. He was the real MVP. He was NOT about to get covid in the covid line

Pretty uneventful as the line moved and we made it to the front. We get up to the first tent to give our personal information and a massive gust of wind comes through and havoc ensues. Tents are FLYING.

Me, with my cat like super human reflexes, caught our tent with the back of my wrist and pulled it down and hung on to it until some dudes could get some sand bags around it. I also am an MVP. Situation has been controlled.

We move on to the swabbing tent. They were not doing nasal swabs (I was relieved) they were doing oral swabs. I was thinking that would be better, but nope. Doc says “k, I’ve got to give you 2 swabs all the way back to your tonsils, try not to cough”

At this moment I hear someone gagging like they’re in a fucking porno. Full on bout to vomit gag, loud as fuck. Of course it’s @AmandaSoprano

Miss “I don’t have tonsils” could not handle the tonsils swab.

It’s my turn. I can vouch for the need for a gag. It was quite uncomfortable. On my second swab I gag (like a normal human gag, not a I have a dick in my mouth gag) and cough, spraying visible spit on the doctors face shield.

I apologized and he shrugged it off like he’s been getting spit on his whole life.

I meet back up with Amanda, her first words are “did you hear me gagging?” I’m like yes bitch, the whole world heard you.

We’re walking out now and we get some lagniappe for getting tested. A cotton mask, some info brochures and *gasp* hand sanitizer! The trip was worth it after all. We celebrate.

As were walking to the car, we got stopped by a journalist? Reporter? Blogger? Idk. Someone who wants to record us saying why is was important to us to come get tested.

Amanda, without missing a beat, “um no I look like shit”. Like, we’re on day 45 of quarantine, we all look like shit. I’m over here with a giant pimple on my chin. It’s fine. We go ahead with the short interview or whatever. So that will be up somewhere.

Mission accomplished. We will get our results in 2 days. Yay. We go to dat Magnolia Discount and get some day drinking type booze and a KN95 to top off our morning.

So overall, great experience. Quick moving line, a 2 second gag worthy test and some lagniappe. You do NOT have to present with any symptoms to get this test. So y’all should go get one. They reached the max for today but it’s open again tomorrow outside of Xavier.

You’re welcome. End thread.