I think what I love the most about the concept of yizhan as boyfriends who agree that HuaHua is cute and get flushed looking at him is that, even as a v monogamic v jealous person, I miss the comfort of a relationship healthy enough for you to talk about attraction to others

I think at least in a conceptual lvl ppl continue being interested in others during a loving monogamic relationship. Even if you& #39;re someone like me who& #39;s HARDLY EVER sexually attracted to anyone, you can still be aesthetically attracted etc. Ppl other than your SO can attract u.

And if you& #39;re really comfortable in your relationship that slight attraction to others shouldn& #39;t be a threat at all, I think? So it felt nice when I could talk to my exgf about who was hot at school, celeb crushes etc etc. It was really ok and fun.

Being monogamic, of course it& #39;s different when you or your SO do have feelings of attraction real enough to actually want to act on them. That& #39;s the absolute deal breaker to me. But thinking about others in this more conceptual level is fine and harmless.

This level of comfort only exists in a somewhat healthy relationship of course. I& #39;ve had traumatic experiences that gaslighted me into feeling like the paranoid crazy jealous girl https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Pensive face" aria-label="Emoji: Pensive face"> Because that person thought destroying my self esteem was goals somehow https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷" title="Person shrugging" aria-label="Emoji: Person shrugging">