I think what I love the most about the concept of yizhan as boyfriends who agree that HuaHua is cute and get flushed looking at him is that, even as a v monogamic v jealous person, I miss the comfort of a relationship healthy enough for you to talk about attraction to others

I think at least in a conceptual lvl ppl continue being interested in others during a loving monogamic relationship. Even if you're someone like me who's HARDLY EVER sexually attracted to anyone, you can still be aesthetically attracted etc. Ppl other than your SO can attract u.

And if you're really comfortable in your relationship that slight attraction to others shouldn't be a threat at all, I think? So it felt nice when I could talk to my exgf about who was hot at school, celeb crushes etc etc. It was really ok and fun.

Being monogamic, of course it's different when you or your SO do have feelings of attraction real enough to actually want to act on them. That's the absolute deal breaker to me. But thinking about others in this more conceptual level is fine and harmless.

This level of comfort only exists in a somewhat healthy relationship of course. I've had traumatic experiences that gaslighted me into feeling like the paranoid crazy jealous girl Because that person thought destroying my self esteem was goals somehow