My life isn’t much. But it’s mine.

I don’t have fancy cars, I have 2008 Jetta that’s paid for.

I don’t have an Adonis body. I’m working out everyday and have lost a fourth of my body weight. I’m in the best shape of my life and getting better.

I don't have a giant house. I have a place that's perfect for me and my two daughters.

I'm not a rock star. I'm a Midwestern dude who took it upon himself for years ago to pick his life up for the shit show of a divorce.

I don't own a gigantic business.
I own a small family run operation and I'm trying to navigate it through the toughest times we've seen in our 10 year history.

I don't have a housekeeper. I scrub toilets just like anyone else and even do it at work to save us some money.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I don't really want one. I do very well for myself in the female department, and if I did see a supermodel or IG girl, she would be treated with the same nonchalant shit eating crap that I shovel to every other girl. She's just a woman.

I don't fight, but I will die to defend myself and those I love. I've had anger issues all my life and when I have been angered, I've put two men through drywall.
I'm more of a "pick up and throw a dude" fighter, but I can hold my own and am working on getting better.

I have a daughter with epilepsy, the other with pre-teen emotional issues that I am dealing with.

They are both the lights of my life and I love being their dad.

Being a father is the greatest thing I could have ever hoped for.

I don't discipline perfectly, but I do care a lot

I'm not flashy, I put my head down and work hard, been doing that all my life. Regardless of task, I will work to solve the problem and take on the next one.

I'm trying to lead my family (as broken as it may seem as a divorced father) through challenging times.

I'm not an "expert" in anything except how to grill a steak, how to run a business, and how to load a truck.

I've had 20 years of complete and utter fuck ups to remind me that every day I still need to bring it, regardless how I feel.

Life's my expertise.

I will hit on any woman I find attractive, regardless if she's out of my league (because she's not) because I believe in myself, what I am, and who I am becoming.

When the end of the day comes, I still have to own all of this. I've made hundreds of thousands of mistakes...

I've also learned that being afraid of who I am isn't any way to go through life. Ownership is attractive, regardless if it's a mansion with girls and cars or my POS German car with bumper stickers falling off.

It's still mine. But it's not my destination.

My life may be bandaids on a dam at the moment, but it's buying me time to get to where I really want to go.

It's going to get worse before it gets better. It's going to hurt before I feel the pain subside.
It's going to implode more times than I care to count.

For 18 years, I'd gotten up, drove the same route to work, done the same things I do every day, looked at myself in the mirror with a wince.

Then, 4 years ago, I started really looking at the dude in the mirror.

And I started to like what I saw.

I continue to grind everyday, because I see what I want to be. And while my circumstances haven't changed all that much, my perspective on them has.

And that, my friends, is the real change you have to see. You have what you have, own it, and work for more.

That's my goal.

I can't stop.

With every touch of the carpet before I do my daily pushups, with every pen stroke working with my daughters on their homework, with every penny put into the bank to save for a future I have in mind, with every wince as my muscles ache, I'm improving.

I'm not done

With every hour on the forklift working to help out, with every dish I do at work because we are watching costs, with every kiss on my daughter's forehead before she goes to bed (she's getting too old for that now), and with every good discussion I have with my ex, I'm better.

And I'm not afraid to die. I'll die trying to make my life more than it was.

If I die, my kids get millions. I don't fear death over fearing what I didn't do to make this life mine.

That alone is worth days of waking up above ground, regardless of what God you worship.

I have friends that will be there for me, many whom I've met in Fraternity of Excellence.

Men who I call "brother" or "sir". I believe in respect to fellow man if they respect you. I will call you sir if I respect you.

And there are many men I respect in my life.