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You know, I was gonna do a big blog post about this, but here's a thread, instead. You can thank my nightmare brain for this.
If someone cannot love you exactly as you are, mess and need and all, screw them. To the right person, your mess doesn't matter.
If someone cannot love you exactly as you are, mess and need and all, screw them. To the right person, your mess doesn't matter.
You can talk too much, or go weirdly silent/inward, and someone who gets you and understands you? They'll care about you anyway and work around it. We all do weird shit; no one is perfect. I, myself, am strange and usual. *wink*
The thing, we're all damaged in one way or another. We all carry around scars and things we don't talk about -- or don't know how to talk about. None of that matters. That's human nature.
But the person who's an asshole about it? Run. That's a whole different ballgame.
But the person who's an asshole about it? Run. That's a whole different ballgame.
Run from anyone who doesn't SEE you--exactly as you are, even if you're neurotic. Who only sees what they want or pieces of you,filling in the gaps with the narrative they choose. Run like the house is on fire, because it is. Toast marshmallows in the flames and be done with it.
That person who doesn't see you isn't in love with you. They're in love with the version of you they need you to be. And sure, maybe they're not an overt asshole, but sometimes--the sneaky jerks are worse.
You are not duct tape, kittens. Don't hold together what isn't yours.
You are not duct tape, kittens. Don't hold together what isn't yours.
And, listen, once someone handed me a box of darkness. And not the Mary Oliver kind, no. The one that's kind of like slowly sipping poison, so it just gets to you in little ways until everything goes sideways.
With the clarity of hindsight, WHOA BOY, that's bad.
With the clarity of hindsight, WHOA BOY, that's bad.
So, I'll say this: if anyone calls you crazy, tells you that you're too much, labels you "too complicated," and cannot hold the line when you need it -- walk away.
Someone calling you too complicated is an idiot coward who will probably always be miserable.
Someone calling you too complicated is an idiot coward who will probably always be miserable.
I am complicated, weird, kind, and generally a loving force of nature who will happily shiv your enemies.
I will never be quiet or temper my response. I won't care less because everything's batshit. I will always meet my people where and when they need me.
I will never be quiet or temper my response. I won't care less because everything's batshit. I will always meet my people where and when they need me.
And that is my gift. One of many. I'm not a girl who runs or folds in on herself, despite my past. I'm better in spite of it, I think.
I've been called a tiny hurricane. I do nothing by halves. But I never destroy the things I care about. I strive to do the opposite.
I've been called a tiny hurricane. I do nothing by halves. But I never destroy the things I care about. I strive to do the opposite.
You won't get a box of darkness from me. You might not quite get sanity, but ehhh. *shrugs* But what you get from me you can be certain of. And in this mess of a world, I like to think that's something.
