Ian Blackford up on virtual PMQs.

They're going to regret paying for Zoom. That 40min cut off would be really fucking handy right now.

This is all a massive competition to see which MP's houses look EXACTLY like you'd expect.

Peter Bone's is entirely white and empty.

Read what you want into that.

"Greetings from lovely Hastings"

Sally Ann-Hart has gone full Eurovision. Nice curtains though.

I see Barry Gardner has finally paid for the wifi in that Travelodge he lives in.

I'm enjoying all the Conservative MPs who seem to have decided that their base will react REALLY badly to their walls being anything other than white.

Jaunty angle from Stephen Kinnock.

Teasing us with a wall painting too. We know its there Stephen! Show us! SHOW US!

Goddamn. Ruth Cadbury's chair looks really comfy.

BILLY BOOKCASE! EVERYBODY DRINK!

There are genuine questions going on here, but it's the boy Raab who is answering PMQs. So just assume that every answer is verbal flailing and a nervous chuckle. It'll save us all time.

I really, really need to know what that little man is behind Faye Jones.

I hope it's a John Paul II doll.

No Billys for Liz Saville. That's some PROPER shelving. 8/10.

It is a known fact that it is impossible for Luke Evans to not look like he's on chat roulette.

BOOK NOOKS! BOOK NOOKS!

Angela Eagle blows Liz Saville OUT. OF. THE. PARK in the shelf war.

9/10

Sadly Matt Hancock is in the chamber. As always, looks like he's apologising for having a wank in a lay-by.

"We have some of the best minds in the country working on this" Says Matt Hancock, generously talk about someone other than the government for a change.

Hancock continually referring to the 'battleplan' for COVID.

You're not at war Hancock.

This is what happens when you have Gavin Williamson and Raab in a government, pushing painted miniatures around.

In a true and just world, someone would open that door behind Jon Ashworth right now.

Luuuuunch. Figured it was best to make it while Hancock was talking. Didn't want to miss anything useful.

"It was, and I cannot stress this enough, ONE wank, in ONE lay-by."

Jeremy Hunt was one of the first to fall to the Triffids.

Oh wow. Dr Philippa Whitford has just taken the shelf game to the NEXT. LEVEL.

Be proud Scotland.

Also:

"I know the Health Secretary is fond of phone apps..."

Oh Greg. Teasing us with that glimpse of a fireplace, you little minx!

Corbyn looking comfortable and asking decent questions from the back bench on testing.

No snark to this: he looks way more comfortable and effective.

Hilary Benn is the slickest looking mofo on zoom, just as he always is in the chamber.

Always bet on Mr Barraclough.

Chris Grayling has the worst internet connection in the country.

This should come as the least surprising news of the day.

Also I'm pretty certain those curtains were the bad guy in a Pertwee Doctor Who.

Caroline Lucas lives in every Brighton flat I've been in, ever.

Laura Trott was recently appointed 'keeper of the hellmouth' in the Tory party conference elections. Nice to see it on display.

That is 100% Barry Sherman's spare room. This is a rare period of non-Christmas usage for it.

Gary Streeter rocking the quirky sex cottage look. I like.

The problem with chat roulette is you sometimes get someone you've already skipped.

Patrick Grady splits his time between representing Glasgow and being that cheery Scottish voice that tries to stop you switching broadband provider.

Kevin Hollinrake looks like he has strong armchair game.

And we're done! Everybody back to Gary Streeter's sex cottage for tea and games!