Virtual Football Management can be fairly dull when compared to my previous job in a supermarket about 16 years ago.

Below in this thread are some surreal/dark/funny moments. Just sharing for a bit of a laugh during lockdown

Start with the saddest one. A woman died in front of my deli counter a few weeks into my job, she dropped something and never came up. Don’t get old FMers, it will be the end of you

I once convinced two colleagues that a white rabbit was in the store and had been roaming about all day. They went searching for it, even cleared out parts of the frozen section as I told them it was after frozen carrots

One 16-year-old work shy lad found a Page 3 rip out in the warehouse one night. He was caught doing something untoward with himself. He was quickly moved on.

FMers don’t have to worry, you’re often inside and have the comfortable of your own space…enjoy

A woman would come to my deli counter every day and buy around £60 worth of meat for her dogs. She always chose the expensive stuff like Ox Tongue and the Pork with Stuffing.

A colleague convinced her my name was Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. It stuck. “Good morning Jan”

(another nickname was Swiss Tony, due to me selling some Swiss cheese…but anyway…I’m digressing)

I befriended the Serbian delivery driver once because I knew who the then FM Wonderkid Bojan was…he asked me if he is Spanish or Serbian. I hesitated, debated the 50-50…then answered Serbian.

A lifetime friendship ensured (*for the time I worked there)

There was a really bad phase of a few guys playing "Trolly Dropping"...aim is to get stuff in people's shopping without them knowing.

The people, when at the checkout, will either blame their kids or just looked puzzled. They often bought the stuff anyway

Putting cat milk next to the fresh cow milk is a big laugh. People will often buy it and then come back in and ask for a refund about a day later...as they don't have a cat.

Meow

There’s probably lots more. It was like going to school with your mates and getting paid for it. 5-a-sides in the warehouse, laughs all day long, telling customers utter shite like “sorry, there is no butter today…the Polish are mobilising the troops”

/end thread