coming to accept that how people treat me is not a reflection of me and it's more so their inability to accept me because my energy is foreign to them. people are not used to being accepted and loved for exactly who they are without doing something for it.

and they meet me and don't know how to respond to a person like me who comes to give and fill and pour so much love and empowerment and all i ask in return is someone to listen to me. they frame it like i don't care about them just because i like my own space to be.

people are accustomed to being used that they think i'm suspicious or have ulterior motives. and when i'm direct and remind people that i don't need them to be full, they take it personally not realizing what a compliment it is to them that i want to love them, not use them.

i genuinely pray for their healing because learning to accept love is a journey in itself. i will not force anyone to accept my love. i am not the one that wounded you so i cannot fix your pain and get hurt by you in the process. i will love you from a distance if i have to.

it's almost as if my role here is to remind people of how big they are and how they are not supposed to shrink their energy into any one role of "helper" "fixer" etc. if you don't want to be that anymore, don't. i did it. it's not impossible but you have to want it for yourself.

it's just interesting. i really want relationships but people only want me to play a role and prove myself to them because of their own trust issues. i have trust issues too and when i can't trust, i leave people alone. i don't make them perform for my trust. novel concept.

you were never going to trust me and it never had anything to do with me. you're still hurting. i understand and i pray your heart heals and you accept how divine love is again. but i won't let you mistreat me to prove why you should take a chance on me. patience does run out.