i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so screwed up psychologically that i really can't live a normal life anymore. it's one thing for my mental state to be bad; it's another for it to highly affect my physical state, which is what's been happening. i'm fairly certain i have +
+ ocd, or something similar that would explain my germ-obsessed, ritualistic behavior. if i don't abide by the rituals, i shut down and can't think about ANYTHING else, so i'm forced to just sit on my bed and wait it out. i worry so much that my hair is consistently falling out +
+ and i've given myself an ulcer. it's painful, but the worse part is that it makes me nauseous nearly 24/7. i'm very underweight for my age & height, because every time i eat, a wave of nausea overcomes me for 2-3 hours. another thing worrying has given me is tics. i've been +
+ doing them since i was a kid, but only recently have they gotten really bad. my nose & lips scrunch, i blink really hard, i move my arms in weird directions. i look like a freak show when you look me in the face. i know they're horrible, and i try so hard to stop them, but +
+ it doesn't work very well. it's just a compulsion. i feel so trapped inside my own head; my obsessions control me, and they override any other thoughts in my mind 90% of the time. this thread isn't for pity, or for attention, i just need to get it out because for over three +