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It still amazes me that I didn't really start playing instruments until I was a tween. I begged since I was 8 to play piano. Then I played clarinet in junior high and high school, piano for four beautiful but short years. I should look up right around the time my dad stopped me.
South node in the 5th house. 
Bye bye musical joy. I did get new friends (11th house) at church. But I had always wondered if something astrological was happening when that happened.
It really made no sense, but mental illness rarely does.
Bye bye musical joy. I did get new friends (11th house) at church. But I had always wondered if something astrological was happening when that happened. It really made no sense, but mental illness rarely does.
Interestingly, transiting Neptune was trine. So really, it made no flipping sense to me. And it's something I will never forgive my father for. It is unforgivable. You grieved my holy spirit.
I have told this story before, but I had just won my first paying competition, like had come back from the mall, with check in hand, when my dad told me he was going to stop lessons. He was already pretty much mentally ill then. I think there may have been some jealousy, too.
And I never thought about it this way, because he was so pissed I wouldn't practice enough. But...I didn't have to. I have the ear, the ear I inherited from him. I wasn't sloppy, but he wanted me to devote my life to it, which...I was doing my do all the things high school thing.
Whew. Well, I can't really forgive jealousy or spite. But at least that makes more sense, that you'd crush your little girl's heart at the height of her prime. It's petty af, but at least that makes sense. It's one of the worst things he's done to me, though, almost the worst.
I've played and sang since then, but it wasn't ever really the same. I had a vibe with my piano teacher, with the program I was in at UAB. But yeah, that's my janky 5th house!
Whoops forgot: Uranus in Capricorn was trine the south node in Taurus, too. So when I say this came out of nowhere, I fucking got zapped. Whew!
Oh and transiting Chiron was on my Saturn, just to add more pain. I was taking piano classes at a university. Like this is fucking getting literal now. ROFL.
Venus was on my Jupiter in the 7th.
Well, open enemy? HI DAD, J'ACCUSE!
Well, open enemy? HI DAD, J'ACCUSE!
Alright, that was like a life-defining moment that I go back to a lot, not necessarily embittered, but in wonder, because it was so powerful and so out of the blue. So Uranus and Neptune, I'm not fans of those planets! Still have scars from their zapping. Malefic motherfuckers.
