Content Warning

I’ve been having a rough few weeks...not just because of the pandemic but other reasons....today on a whim I walked down My dead end block to the entrance near a main road...

I was contemplating walking into traffic and almost did, when My Mom pulled up behind Me and stopped Me. I didn’t want her to see Me get hit,but I was feeling this was now or never...

I started to walk closer to the main road and My Mom grabbed Me and put Me into the car....I just cried. How could I do that!? That was not Me standing on the corner! That was every thing My illness was Not Me!

It was My depression and anxiety that took control over Me! It’s strange because I want to live life but My mental illnesses have other goals.

My Mom and I debated weather to bring Me to the hospital or not and due to a shortage of beds in the hospital that is the best for Mental health where I live, we decided to keep Me home and I’m doing okay now....

I’m in a bad spot right now I relapsed back into self harm after 7 years clean! SEVEN! add today’s event and I’m just in shock at all that went on and is going on.

But then I remembered: I have Family that loves Me, Friends that love Me! I have the #SPNFamily I can count on!

I want to thank @KyleeRay_01 @jarpad @JensenAckles @mishacollins for being a very big part of the reason why I Always Keep Fighting!

As well as My Parents! My Mom is My rock, and the strength I need when I have none left. She has enough for the both of us!

If @JensenAckles @jarpad or @mishacollins reads this thread...Thank you for #AKF and #YANA after what happened today I came back and thought about both campaigns and what they mean...

And it just reminded Me I have so much to live for! Family,Friends,Pets,Animals,Supernatural etc,etc...!

I guess over all I want to just say, Thank God I am Alive!