a lot of people are messaging me saying their partners are trying to be supportive but have really firmly held beliefs about relationships being sacred between two people and there’s nothing I can say that will change someone’s value system in a relationship

sadly unless someone really wants to do the work in therapy to restructure their beliefs on their own terms without us begging or pleading, but because THEY want to, we have to at some point accept incompatibility. It sucks because these beliefs they hold may be dated or harmful

to the growth of a healthy relationship that we desire with them but sometimes even if we have amazing partners who just aren’t happy with our work and thus we aren’t happy in our relationship the best choice is almost always to find someone we are more compatible with who we

don’t have to justify ourselves to. compromise is a normal part of relationships and is healthy when two people are compatible but when two people are not compatible and compromise this creates resentment and trauma. You two can both be amazing people but if your ideas for what

you want from your work and for your life are very different then compromise will not make either of you happy or able to reach your fullest potential for what brings you the most joy because it all becomes an overwhelming amount of unhealthy self sacrifice.

lastly my heart goes out to y’all because our work is work and it’s harder than any job I’ve ever had. I really wish people understood us better but we can’t wait on these people to see us accurately and value us clearly for what we do at the cost of our own happiness.