FOR EACH LIKE, I WILL SHARE A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE FROM THE SCHWEIDEN ADLERS!!! Now that Ushijima Wakatoshi isn't around, I am free from my chains!! I WILL STOP AT A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF LIKES BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS TO TAKE A BREAK!!
1. I still CANNOT pronounce the name SCHWEIDEN ADLERS. There is a HOTKEY on my MOUSE that I press whenever I MUST SAY MY TEAM NAME. Because I cannot SPELL IT. There is another HOTKEY that spells it without all caps. WHO NAMED THIS TEAM. We are JAPANESE!?!
2. USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI's snores are so SONOROUS the first week of BOOT CAMP I THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE!!!! BUT NO!!! IT WAS USHIJIMA SNORING TO ASSERT HIS DOMINANCE!!! At 4am he does a mighty LEAP from the top of his bunk bed that shakes the ground I HATE IT
3. Kageyama Tobio will always TRY MILK from every vending machine we go to!!! Once we had a PIT STOP in the middle of NOWHERE in RURAL JAPAN!! And Kageyama... he walks up to a cow by the road... and HANDS IT COINS! IT DIDN'T GIVE HIM MILK SO HE SAID, "I think this cow is broken."
4. The Schweiden Adlers cheerleaders call me "Kawaii Kourai" and like to pick me up and throw me up in the air!!! Jokes on them!! I can jump higher than how high they throw me!! Also I can jump over their formation!!! Ha ha I win again!! They don't call anyone else cute!!
5. THE FIRST WEEK that Romero joined the team I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE with him so I just STARED AT HIM trying to BEAM MY MESSAGES straight into his mind!!! That is usually how I communicate with players from different countries!!! With my ESPN!!!
6. The Schweiden Adlers have gotten lost in EVERY city because NONE OF US can properly read Google Maps and ALL of us are too PRIDEFUL to ask for directions so all we do is WALK THE ENTIRE CITY with me JUMPING to survey the area and construct our OWN MAP this way
7. Ushijima Wakatoshi once invited me to FEED THE BIRDS with him under the Eiffel Tower and I refused to lose!! I covered myself in honey and rolled around in PREMIUM SEED and showed up prepared!!! I fed way more pigeons than he did!! But almost died!!!
8. I HAVE A RECURRING NIGHTMARE THAT ADLOO TAKES OFF HIS HEAD AND FEATHERS AND THERE IS AN OLD BALDING MAN IN HIS PLACE. To my knowledge he is a unique species of LARGE bird whose only purpose in life is to cheer for the SCHWEIDEN ADLERS. He is so talented! I love him!!!
9. The most AWKWARD encounter I have ever had on this team was when I was TRYING TO USE the bathroom at our lodging at the SAME TIME Ushijima was walking out of it He just STOOD THERE refusing to move out of the way and I GLARED AT HIM because I do not GIVE UP it lasted 3 hours
10. WHENEVER I LOSE KAGEYAMA IN A CROWD I follow the WILD ANIMALS that start moving toward him to ATTACK HIM I do not know what he has done to anger the gods but IF YOU FOLLOW THE STAMPEDE you will find KAGEYAMA cannot lose the man
11. ALL OF MY commercial offers have felt like BACK HANDED INSULTS and include (1) an advertisement for KID'S GUMMY VITAMINS (2) a VOLLEYBALL LEGO PLAYSET (3) MINI FOOD KITS (4) EYELINER even though I am ALL NATURAL!?!? HELLO!?!? WHERE IS HOSHIUMI 4 CALVIN KLEIN WHO IS CALVIN KLE
12. ONCE I WAS FORCED TO WATCH REALITY TELEVISION SHOW KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS ON A NONSTOP FLIGHT TO FRANCE. I HAVE DEDUCED that Kageyama would be KIM, Ushijima would be KOURTNEY, and I would be KHLOE but I DID NOT ENJOY THE SHOW IT JUST HAD JAPANESE SUBTITLES
13. I LIKE FAN GREETINGS I like how people are HERE TO ASK ME TO SIGN ALL OF THESE THINGS and tell me I am COOL but usually I get all of the SHORT GUYS who ask me for my workout routine AND I TELL THEM that THE BEST WORKOUT ROUTINE IS NEVER GIVING UP
14. ONE TIME I ASKED USHIJIMA AND KAGEYAMA TO PRAISE ME MORE WHENEVER I DO SOMETHING AWESOME. Mistake!!! ONCE I HAD AN AWESOME LINE SHOT AND THEY TURNED AROUND AT ME, unblinkingly and SAID "superb FIRST DEGREE murder, Kourai Hoshiumi." NEVER AGAIN!!!
15. ON WEDNESDAYS we sit at the BIG COMPUTER and look up HINATA SHOYO, Kageyama and Ushijima are NOT AS GOOD AS READING so we just FLIP THROUGH PICTURES and Ushijima will point at them and go, "He will lose to me next time" and I say, "HAHA!! NOT IF I BEAT HIM FIRST!"
16. Miya Atsumu isn't the ONLY PLAYER in V.League with special treatment from the audience with his FISTING (?) BEFORE HIS SERVE (sorry I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT), ALL SPECTATORS are required to make a "HOLY CRAP" face whenever I do ANYTHING or wear a ":O" MASK
17. Captain Hirugami Fukuro's HANDS are so big that he has to ask me to OPEN water bottles for him because they are TOO LARGE to get a firm grip on the small cap HAHAHA the other older teammates call him "CAPTAIN YAOI HANDS"
18. At fan GREETINGS I always cheer up the CHILDREN that cry under the STERN gaze of Ushijima Wakatoshi and Kageyama Tobio, I am very good at PEAKABOO because I have 10,000 younger cousins the HOSHIUMI'S MOM FAMILY is productive because we are so SMALL
19. WHEN WE are in TOWN Kageyama's SISTER MIWA does our hair & makeup, USHIJIMA does not like when she uses the BRUSH on his face because it TICKLES so he gets a SPONGE. I MADE her smile once when I told her I WAS BORN with EYELINER and she said "you are a LUCKY STAR" I BLUSHED
20. WENT TO A RESTAURANT with my teammate SOKOLOV once and the WAITRESS told him "your son is sooo cute!" and handed me a CRAYON and KID'S MENU and I KEPT LOOKING AROUND FOR SOKOLOV'S SON BUT HE TOLD ME HE DIDN'T HAVE ONE!? INVISIBLE?!?1
21. CAUGHT my captain with a SHUGO MEIAN PHOTOSHOOT 2020 CALENDAR under his PILLOW he said he was STUDYING his rival and that I should do the same, so I BOUGHT THE NINJA SHOYO 2020 calendar for myself and KAGEYAMA GLARED at me but asked me SOFTLY "where can I get one too"
22. I JOG FASTER THAN USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI!!! HE IS TOO DUMMY THICC TO CATCH UP TO MY DUMMY QUICK HAH HA!!!!
23. People ask me if I want more fanboys or fangirls, but to tell the truth I THINK THAT OUR PLANET NEEDS MORE FANS to COOL IT DOWN due to GLOBAL WARMING!!
24. THE PERSON WITH THE BEST SERVES ON OUR TEAM IS KAGEYAMA TOBIO... but the PERSON WHO IS ALWAYS SERVING LOOKS IS ME!!!
25. Everyone who HAS PROBLEMS with receiving PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FOOTWORK AND POSITIONING ALONG WITH YOUR KNEES you need to DROP THOSE KNEES like you're ABOUT TO PROPOSE to that TALL MIDDLE BLOCKER from HIGH SCHOOL you SAVED from burnout I PICTURE THAT every time I receive
26. ROMERO THOUGHT THAT "SUMIMASEN" MEANT THANK YOU FOR THE MEAL, SO FOR 2 WEEKS ALL OF US FELT SO BAD THAT HE WAS APOLOGIZING FOR EATING FOOD WE GAVE HIM!! I STARTED CRYING AND TOLD HIM JUST TO TAKE IT ALL!!!
27. At a CHARITY volleyball event where PROS would play against AMATEURS, USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI did not get the memo that there were AMATEURS and his serve KNOCKED OUT someone's dad OH GOD IT WAS AWFUL and Ushijima WENT UP TO HIS FAMILY and went "Sorry I am so strong."
28. ONCE KAGEYAMA AND I HAD TO TEACH A VOLLEYBALL CLINIC full of kids and he told one of them, "You're already better than HINATA BOKE" and then I said to the same kid, "Haha small MAN!! That means YOU ARE MY NEW RIVAL I MUST DEFEAT!!!" and the kid's mother was NOT PLEASED
29. Captain HIRUGAMI always tries to interrupt my SKYPE CALLS with his brother like a FOOL, sorry blood is not THICKER than my SKULL
30. USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI sends a GOOD NIGHT text to Kageyama and I in our ROOKIES group chat every night at 10:30PM but I NEVER receive it because I try to sleep EARLIER so I can WIN against them and COME FIRST
31. I am building a TIME MACHINE so I can go back in time BEFORE KAGEYAMA TOBIO WAS BORN and WAIT FOR HINATA SHOYO because he likes to remind me he's been WAITING ALL HIS LIFE, Kageyama Tobio you CANNOT think that I will give up this easily currently I have TWO BATTERIES one pota
32. IF ANY OF US TALK or make noise DURING A MOVIE during Schweiden Adlers movie night USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI will rewind the movie to the BEGINNING because it DISTRACTS HIM and ruins his EXPERIENCE so whenever I eat popcorn I make sure it DISSOLVES IN MY MOUTH INSTEAD OF CHEW
33. MY MOM COMES TO SCHWEIDEN ADLERS MATCHES AND CHEERS FOR USHIJIMA AND KAGEYAMA I LET THEM BORROW MY MOM BECAUSE THEIR MOMS ARE ALWAYS BUSY I AM SO GENEROUS ELLEN DEGENERES QUAKES IN HER QUARANTINE MANSION THINKING OF MY GENEROSITY
34. Speaking of ELLEN I was invited on the ELLEN SHOW ONCE

Ellen: Sooo Kourai I heard you like to defeat Hinata Shoyo so-
Me: *bouncing on the sofa* OH MY GOD ELLEN YOU DIDN'T!!
Ellen: So I gave him a fever so he would lose to you! Cough cough!
Me: DAMN YOU DEGENERES ELLEN!!!!
35. MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT ON THE SWEDISH ANTLERS was falling asleep on a PLANE next to CAPTAIN HIRUGAMI and apparently in my sleep I said, "SACHIROU YOUR SHOULDER IS UP TOO HIGH THIS TIME" and WOKE UP to hear my CAPTAIN shaking me going, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BROTHER"
36. AFTER that incident CAPTAIN HIRUGAMI WAS ON MY CASE asking if I WAS tainting the mind of his INNOCENT BABY BROTHER with all the BAD WORDS that come out of my mouth when it is the OPPOSITE if I am ever FRAMED FOR A CRIME I DID NOT DO IT I was FRAMED BY HIRUGAMI SACHIROU HE'S E
37. THE MSBY WEBSITE HAD A 1000TH PERSON TO VIEW THE WEBSITE GETS A FREE ATSUMU MIYA BODY PILLOW and UNFORTUNATELY I got it while REFRESHING THE WEBSITE TO LOOK AT HINATA SHOYO'S HEIGHT SO I JUST AWKWARDLY HAVE THIS PILLOW OF A MAN I DISLIKE stored in the ADLERS LOCKER ROOM IT'S
38. ONE DAY Kageyama Tobio walked into the locker room and immediately I heard HISSING NOISES and I REALIZED I FORGOT to hide the ATSUMU MIYA BODY PILLOW and then he asked whose it was AND I DENIED KNOWING and he asked if he COULD USE IT FOR SPIKING PRACTICE and I said SURE KING!
39. SACHIROU HIRUGAMI has once proposed to me but I had to decline even though I WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE I REFUSE to be related to CAPTAIN HIRUGAMI!! That is why there are TEARDROPS on my VOLLEYBALL!!
40. THE SCHWEIDEN ADLERS TRIED TO PLAY MARIO KART ON A LIVESTREAM BUT USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI kept going backwards, CAPTAIN HIRUGAMI did not know how to make his kart MOVIE, Kageyama Tobio kept DRIVING OFF A CLIFF, and Romero used the VIBRATING CONTROLLER to massage his biceps
41. The BEST DDR player on the Schweiden Adlers team is KAGEYAMA TOBIO he is VERY FAST at reading the arrows I KEEP STOPPING AND STARING to analyze and it IS NOT THE NAME OF THE GAME Ushijima does not want to play he is TOO SHY to bust a move after he accidentally KNOCKED OVER SO
42. MY GAMER TAG USED TO BE "BIG_GUY_KORAI" UNTIL USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI LOOKED OVER MY SHOULDER AND SAID. "Hoshiumi. You are a professional player, it is not good to lie in public. You are not a 'big man.' I suggest the title 'Average_Height_Hoshiumi.'"
43. HEIWAJIMA bought a LIVE SIZE cutout of SHAQUILLE O'NEAL once SO THAT "I can take a picture of him next to Korai" I HATE IT HERE SOMETIMES!!!
44. SHUGO Meian keeps sneaking into our practices!! He says he is doing RECON but if so why is he only looking at Captain Hirugami and not me!!!! I AM THE BIGGER THREAT!!!

HE ALSO COMES WEARING DISGUSTING DISGUISES LIKE A BUTTON DOWN SHIRT AND WINKS AT OUR CAPTAIN!!!!!
45. WHEN KAGEYAMA TOBIO sees another SETTER he literally CATCHES ON FIRE EVERYONE STARTS SCREAMING ALL OF US HAVE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS IN OUR BACKPACK AND GALLONS OF WATER we must MAKE SURE he doesn't see them SOMEBODY CALL 111 SHAWTY FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCE FLOOR !?!?
46. EVERY TIME someone at a fan meeting asks me for my phone number I GIVE THEM HAKUBA GAO'S because I am so GENEROUS no one will talk to him anyways so I am simply getting him NEW FRIENDS I hope these strangers are NOT TOO DISAPPOINTED
47. I am told that I SNORE LIKE a newborn KITTEN once I woke up to find ALL MY TEAMMATES gathered around me and Kageyama going, "Hoshiumi-san is a lot less annoying when he is asleep" and Romero going, "bonitinho~" and I THEN woke up SCREAMING I GET NO RESPECT IN THIS HOUSE
48. COACH AARON MURPHY still calls me FROM TIME TO TIME and says, "Someday you should come play in America, take Sachirou with you!" and I keep refusing because I refuse to come to a country where my name would go from KORAI to "COREY" I am NOT IN THIS HOUSE
49. OUR BIGGEST FAN OVERSEAS IS THIS MAN NAMED "UTSUI TAKASHI" I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS BUT EVERY TIME WE POST A NEW ARTICLE HE WILL ALWAYS COMMENT "GOOD LUCK BOYS!! TOSHI-KUN!! PAPA IS PROUD OF YOU!!" I DO NOT HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM THERE IS NO "TOSHI" ON THIS TEAM!!!
50. USHIJIMA DOES NOT READ THE ARTICLES ABOUT US BECAUSE HE FEELS NO NEED TO, SINCE HE IS ALREADY ON THE TEAM!! I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO READS THE ARTICLES AND THE COMMENTS!! I KEEP LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO BE SURPRISED AT MY PLAYS BUT NO ONE EVER IS!! HATE IT HERE!! NOTHING TO REPORT!
51. ROMERO HAS A secret FINSTA THE USERNAME is something like World_ASS and it is where he COMPLAINS ABOUT EVERYTHING in Portuguese he LET ME FOLLOW IT ONCE and I still don't understand a THING
52. Heiwajima always MAKES ME GET EVERYTHING even if he DROPS a ball- Kourai can you GET IT? When SOMEONE SERVES- Kourai, can you GET IT? SO I'VE GIVEN UP!! EVERY TIME HE SAYS THAT I JUST YELL, "HOSHIUMI KOURAI CAN ALWAYS GET IT!!" AND THEN EVERYONE STARTS LAUGHING AT ME I DONT K
53. THE WORST part is NOW SACHIRO says it to me AS IF IT IS ENDEARING he says, "You can always get it Korai-kun ;)" SO NOW I HAVE STOPPED GETTING ANYTHING. I JUST STAND THERE. CALL ME THE IMMOVABLE. EVERY TIME HE SEES ME HE FACEPALMS BUT MY RESOLVE IS STRONGER I WILL WIN I NEVER
54. I ask KAGEYAMA TOBIO to text me immediately whenever HINATA SHOYO sends him one of those "GOOD MORNING KAGEYAMA-KUN" texts so I can MAKE SURE that I've gotten up BEFORE HINATA SHOYO!!! HAHA!!! I HAVE KEPT A SPREADSHEET OF MY VICTORIES
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