being human is concretely impossible and i have climbed back into bed

i am trying to do my best here but it& #39;s not going particularly well

i just don& #39;t know what& #39;s going to happen or what right now looks like, and i can& #39;t really do anything because i have no energy and i& #39;m constantly at the edge of a panic attack, and it just buries me

got this hypervigilance and uncertainty and i can& #39;t even get myself to read comics or articles because my brain won& #39;t hold onto anything. and i know what this feeling is, i& #39;ve had this before, and that is also very scary, because this very much feels like taking steps backwards